A Federal Judge ruled that taking "Up-Skirt" photos is NOT a violation of a woman's privacy. 

- Apparently the judge was appointed back when Bill Clinton was President. 

- So guys...forget about putting mirrors on your shoes! Install a camera instead. 

*****

A new report claims that NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is living in Russia with his American girlfriend, who happens to be a stripper. 

- He was looking for someone who wouldn't keep secrets from him and let's face it, it's hard to keep secrets from a guy when you're naked all the time. 

*****

Speaking of Snowden...he told an interviewer that if Americans want to protect their privacy, they should stay away from Google and Facebook. 

- If you don't believe me, Google it. 

- It's terrifying to think that governments around the world may know exactly what level you're on in Candy Crush Saga. 

*****

A study by Rockefeller University found that scientists can enhance the sex drive in mice by placing a hormone in their brains. 

- Minnie Mouse was one of the test subjects which explains why Mickey is so darn happy all the time!  

- They were going to try to implant the hormone in a dog, but it turns out Charlie Sheen is afraid of needles. 

*****

A new Gallup Poll found that 20% of Americans are worried about getting Ebola. 

- The other 80% don't watch TV. 

*****

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un missed another event this past Friday, making it 5 weeks since he's been seen in public. 

- He's like the "Air Malaysia" of ruthless dictators. 

*****

The Kardashians were seen partying with the Hilton sisters in Dubai over the weekend. 

- Admit it...you kinda wish there'd been an armed drone in the area. 

- There haven't been that many half-wits gathered in one place since the last "Three Stooges Convention". 

- It was the first-ever official meeting of an "Anti-Think Tank". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick