Stanford University researchers say that every man on the planet can trace their origin to a single man who lived 135,000 years ago. 

- So apparently cavemen could figure out how to make fire…but condoms? Not so much. 

- Ironically, he told his wife he didn’t want kids. 

 - He’s also the first guy to ever ask his wife to make him a Woolly Mammoth sandwich with mustard and mayo.

*****

“Little Red” a domestic off-shoot of Virgin Airlines will begin providing in-flight stand-up comedy and musical acts on their flights between England and Scotland. 

- $5 bucks says the first comic says, “I’m flying from England to Scotland…and boy are my arms tired!” 

- Virgin owner Robert Branson says he guarantees passengers will be “rolling in the aisle”. 

*****

 

After decades of rising, obesity rates among preschooolers fell from 2008 to 2011. 

- It’s not that the kids ate less, it’s just that like their parents, they threw up after watching so many episodes of “Dora the Explorer”. 

- The news has prompted TV producers to rename a popular show, “The Tele-Not-So-Tubbies”. 

*****

A Japanese company has created a toilet that can be flushed with a cell phone. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to “butt dialing”. 

- I guess using the handle on the toilet was just too much to ask of people. 

*****

The porn company that porduced Deep Throat is suing the makers of the new movie biopic “Lovelace” for infringing on their intellectual property. 

- If porn is “intellectual property”…then Charlie Sheen should be the President of Mensa. 

*****

ABC News editor Don Emmis, who decided he was transgender in 1999 and began living as a woman named Donna, suddenly realized he had amnesia and is really a man. He/She has stopped wearing dresses and switched back to the name Don. 

- Don said he’s holdin on to his collection of designer pums and matching bags…just in case. 

- The news has given Cher hope that someday her son Chaz may actually wear the wedding dress she save for her daughter Chastity.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with an all-new Podcast (#89)!

- Dick

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