A San Francisco man has invented a bra that unsnaps when you clap your hands.
- Men greeted the announcement with wild applause.
- It’s called the over-the-shoulder-clapper-unsnapper.
- Well there goes the old “Please save your applause until the end” speil during the Miss America Swimsuit competition.
- Clap inside a nursing home and all the women will yell, “Help! They’ve fallen and I can’t get ‘em up!”
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A man was arrested at a Taylor Swift concert for holding up a sign that said “Taylor Swift is with Satan”.
- Taylor Swiftly responded that she and Satan had broken up two weeks ago and were never, ever, ever getting back together again!
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One of Hollywoood’s most prominent same-sex married coules, “Glee” star Jane Lynch and Dr. Lara Embry, have filed for divorce.
- They both cited “alienation of affection” saying the other one always said she had a headache.
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A Brazillian Man was killed after a cow that had wandered onto the metal roof of his house, fell and landed on him while he was lying in bed with his wife.
- This is why I always count sheep…they’re a lot lighter.
- Amazingly, his wife Elsie, walked away unscathed.
- So a glass of milk can help you fall asleep. and a cow falling on you can put you to sleep forever.
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News outlets from around the world have set up camp outside the hosiptal where Kate Middleton will deliver the Royal baby.
- Reporters say the excitement is so palbable you can actually feel it in the heir!
- In keeping with tradition, the doctor will smack the baby on the butt to ensure that it starts…waving.
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20th Century Fox allegedly plans to turn a whole slew of it’s hit movie into musicals for Broadway.
- Prodcucers are already working on a new tap-dance number for “Saving Private Ryan: The Musical”.
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! And don’t forget my “Happy Birthday Podcast” is up now on the homepage!
-Dick