McDonald’s may soon offer home delivery nationwide. 

- Hollywood is already casting a movie about it called “Grease”. 

- Of course this means we may never see Michael Moore in public again. 

***** 

Visa reports that prom night will cost an average of $1,139 this year, up 5% from last year. 

- The kids spend a thousand of that on dresses, tuxes and limos…and the other $139 on pregnancy tests about a month from now. 

*****

Despite Presidents of both parties trying for decades to eliminate the Federal Helium Progarm, the House vote 394 to 1 on Friday to keep it. 

- President Clinton was the execption. He wanted to keep the Helium, but vowed he didn’t inhale. 

- I didn’t realize the Chucky E. Cheese Birthday Lobby was so powerful. 

***** 

Dave Gold, the founder of the 99 Cents Only store chain, has died at the age of 80.

- He would have made it, if only the doctors hadn’t used the 99-cent Defribrulator they’d bought at one of his stores. 

- He asked to be creamated and put on the mantle in his favorite fake plastic Chinese Ming Vase. 

*****

German researchers report that some women are using so much Botox, their bodies are developing antibodies against it, and it’s no longer working.  

- Pamela Anderson was reportedly stunned by the news. Of course you couldn’t tell…but she said she was stunned. 

***** 

To prepare for their upcoming world tour, the Rolling Stones played a surpise gig at a small club in LA on Saturday. 

- Apparently “Small Club” is the new term for “Nursing Home”. 

- These days, Mick and Keith’s idea of “Satisfaction” is when their Fiber One kicks in. 

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday! And don’t forget…Kathleen Madigan tapes her hour-long National Comedy TV Special this Saturday night at the Royal Oak Music Theater! Shows @ 7 & 9:30. Tix start at $35 dollars and are available by clicking on romtlive.com. Hope to see you there! 

-Dick

 

 

 

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