President Obama told supporters at an inaugural event that he loves his wife Michelle’s new hairdo - including the bangs.
- When I hear “President” and “Bangs” in the same sentence, I usually think of Bill Clinton.
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Beyonce’s stirring rendition of the National Anthem at Monday’s Inauguration was hailed as the best in a generation - until the London Times reported that she’d recorded it in advance and lip-synched the performance.
- If only Joe Biden would pre-record and lip-sync his speeches.
- People didn’t think it was that great until Kanye West jumped up on the platform and announced that “Beyonce has the greatest version of the National Anthem of all time!”
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Speaker of the House John Boehner says he has no idea what he said that prompted First Lady Michelle Obama to very publicly roll her eyes during the inauguration.
- Sometimes being honest and saying, “Yes…that dress makes your butt look big” doesn’t go over very well.
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Manti Te’o will be interviewed by Katie Couric about his imaginary dead girlfriend.
- I guess talking about an imaginary dead person can help revive both of their careers.
- Manti’s imaginary alive current girlfriend is said to be furious that he keeps dwelling on his fake past relationships instead of the fake one he has with her.
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Justin Bieber photographed himself mooning the camera and posted the photo of his bare butt on Instagram.
- The girls were all excited until they noticed the diaper rash.
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In Wisconsin, two strippers were arrested for fighting over a dollar bill. They tussled on the floor, punching, slapping and pulling each other’s hair.
- Everyone was in agreement: The cops called it “A circus” and the men in the crowd called it “The Greatest Show on Earth”.
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On this day in 1942 Earl Tupper bought his first manufacturing plant to introduce his invention, “Tupperware”.
- Before that, the only thing burping in most homes were babies and husbands.
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick