There were plenty of ooohs and ahhhs – even some screaming – last night as the skies over Detroit lit up. No… I’m not talking about the fireworks. I’m talking about the storm! The thunder was so loud and the lightning so intense that, as a good husband, I inched closer to Gail so I wouldn’t be scared she wouldn’t be scared. Which reminds me of something that happened to Jackie when she was a kid… Take it away, Jack.
Thanks Dad. I was all of 8 years old one stormy summer night when I heard the unmistakable sound of little feet coming down the hall toward my room. I didn’t need my David Cassidy nightlight to recognize my three-year-old sister, Jessica standing in the doorway – blankie in hand and thumb in mouth. “I know it’s loud, but it’s okay, sweetie!” I whispered and pulled her up to snuggle with me. Then she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said, “Jackie, you’re so lucky!” “Why?” I asked. She replied, “Cuz when you get scared, you’re already in your bed!” You gotta love being a big sister! And now back to the man who will undoubtedly be returning everything I gave him for Father’s Day… my Dad.
Thanks Jackie. And by the way… I’m not returning everything. I thought the card was great. Besides, you already wrote on it. Now back to last night…
As for the annual Fireworks… they were spectacular. And kudos to Carman Harlan and Devon Scillian for coming up with so many adjectives… “Stunning” “Amazing” “Oh, look at that one!” They sounded just like Big Al when he watches Cinemax…
- One question though? Carmen’s hat… Look’s like she got it from the Aretha Franklin Collection.
Speaking of singers…
The judges on American Idol have long complained that teenage contestants can’t convey the mature emotions of certain songs. Producers of the show have responded by lowering the minimum age of contestants from 16 to 15.
- “Sinatra Night” has always been my favorite. Now we can look forward to hearing a 15 year old sing, “I did it My Way!”
- Or how about, “When I was 5… it was a very good year…”
- Roman Polanski and Woody Allen have already asked to be celebrity judges.
On that “note”…
Sullivan Island, South Carolina already has a ban on making noises on the street including crying, shouting and playing musical instruments if people nearby find them annoying. Now the town council wants to expand the “annoying sounds list”, making it illegal to shout, yell, whistle or sing in an annoying manner.
- We have a similar hear rule hear in Detroit. Fortunately it doesn’t prohibit “Booing” so you can still go to Lion’s games.
- PERSONAL OBSERVATION: Second-year safety Louis Delmas has predicted that Lions will win at least 8 games this season. Is it just me or does one player on the team make the same statement every year? And is it just me… or are they always WRONG?!
*****
You know those long, loud horns that have become such a distraction during the World Cup? Well they’ve become a literal pain in the butt for one man… A doctor at the Daktari Medical Center in Johannesburg said a South African man came in with one of the horns (“a vuvuzela”) stuck up his… well you know. Apparently the man had had an ugly run-in with some Uruguayans celebrating their victory.
- I think we just found the answer to plugging the oil leak in the gulf!
- In a related story, some people in Louisiana say they have similar plans if they ever run into BP CEO Tony Hayward.
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The top U.S. commander in Afghanistan has been called back to the White House for a meeting with President Obama after criticizing the President and his administration’s handling of the war during an interview with Rolling Stone Magazine. General Stanley McChrystal has already issued a statement apologizing for exercising “poor judgment”.
- If only he’d looked in his “McChrystal Ball” he’d have realized he was gonna get in trouble!
- Sounds just like when Harry Truman called Douglas MacArthur to the Oval Office and told him, “You Shall Not Return”.
***** UPDATE ON “The Ponz” *****
According to his cellmate, disgraced Financier Bernie Madoff “made off” with 9 billion dollars by secretly funneling it to friends before he confessed to cops in 2008.
- And let me tell you that money is going to come in pretty handy when he strolls out of prison 149 years from now!
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In one of the least surprising findings of all time, a Yale study proved that kids want foods that have Shrek or Scooby-Doo on the package. In the study, up to 85 percent of kids preferred snacks that came from a box featuring a cartoon character and just over half believed that a snack from a container with a picture of Shrek or Scooby actually tasted better.
- You mean it doesn’t?
- That must be the reason I wouldn’t eat spinach as a kid… My mom bought the off-brand that didn’t have Popeye on the label!
- To be honest, if “Sally the Salmon” wasn’t on the package, I may never have tried my favorite breakfast cereal, “Salmon Flakes”. They’re GRRRRR-eat!
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And finally… One hundred years ago today, count Zeppelin started the first airship passenger service. He offered zeppelin trips from Friedrichshafen to Dusseldorf – a distance of 300 miles.
- And one hundred years ago tomorrow, a man named Hans and a flight attendant named Helga became the first members of the “Mile High Zeppelin Club”.
Have a great day! See you right back here tomorrow…
-Dick