Hard to believe it’s Friday again. Time for another “Fish Fry” – or in my case – “Poached Salmon Without Hollandaise Sauce”.
It’s been a busy week… If you follow me on Facebook you know I was faced with the massive challenge of fixing a broken garbage disposal. Well guess what? I did it! I actually called the plumber myself!
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News Wrap Up…
- Julia Roberts was voted People Magazine’s “Most Beautiful Person In The World”… which came as a complete shock to John Edwards.
- Our own Senator Levin went verbally ballistic during a hearing looking into the actions of Wall Street executives… He used more expletives than P. Diddy did during Tupac Shakur’s eulogy.
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In the News today…
Former Vice President-turned-environmental-activist Al Gore and his wife Tipper just bought an 8.8 million dollar villa in California. The house boasts five bedrooms, nine bathrooms, a swimming pool, spa, and numerous fountains.
- Gore said he wasn’t sold on the house until the realtor told him it came with several “lock boxes”.
- WORD OF ADVICE: If you’re invited over, do not bring him a house WARMING gift!
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Dorothy Gallear of Wigan, England has moved her two-year-old son to another daycare after a teacher made him cry by confiscating his cheese sandwich. The school says that cheese sandwiches are not on a list of approved menu items under national healthy food guidelines. They say the addition of lettuce and tomato would have made it okay. The boy’s mom called it “absolutely pathetic”.
- She originally said, “That’s a bunch of baloney” but was then told that “baloney” is not on the list of approved words used to describe national healthy food guidelines.
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A hunter from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, was found guilty of illegally using bait to help attract and kill a 707-pound bear. His bait: Pastries. Game wardens first became suspicious when they spotted him driving through a bear hunting area in a truck loaded with pastries.
- He was busted for illegal possession of bear claws.
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NEWSFLASH: INDIAN MAN CLAIMS TO LIVE WITH NO FOOD OR WATER FOR 70 YEARS…
NEWSFLASH: LOCAL MAN CLAIMS TO LIVE WITHOUT STOPPING EATING FOR MORE THAN 40 YEARS…
First things first… Scientists in India are testing an 82-year-old man who claims he’s healthy despite having nothing to eat or drink in 70 years. Prahlad Jani claims he’s a “Breath-arian” who is sustained by the elixir of a goddess and lives on “spiritual life force”.
- Meanwhile, the local man, one Mr. Big A. Muskovito paused during his lunch at an all-you-can-eat buffet just long enough to claim that he is a “Breast-arian”. In addition, he claims that he lives on a spiritual life force found only at KFC and is sustained by the elixir of gravy.
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But the story of the week has to be…
A prison inmate in Caldwell, Ohio had to have emergency surgery to remove a bottle of hot sauce from… well, you know… where the sun don’t shine. He eventually admitted he was responsible – but originally blamed the incident on another inmate.
- Which seemed plausible. After all, the inmates name was Darrell and the bottle was clearly marked “Frank’s Hot Sauce”.
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Have a great weekend, we’ll see you back here Monday… and GO WINGS!
All the best,
Dick