Coroner Pronounces Self Dead
Meinhardt Raabe, the Munchkin coroner from “The Wizard of Oz” is really, most sincerely dead… at the age of 94.
- He’s one of the only people in history to live both a short and long life.
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A German woman has a good excuse after she was arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle her dead husband onto a plane in Liverpool by putting sunglasses on him and pushing him in a wheelchair. Gitta Jarant told the Bild newspaper that she didn’t know her 91-year-old husband was dead. She claims he was alive when they got there. But all of a sudden, his fingernails turned blue and he looked like a wax figure. She said, “At home, he was still warm - I swear!”
- The passenger sitting next to her dead husband wasn’t too unhappy…he finally got to sit next to a passenger who didn’t talk his ear off through a whole flight!
- Gitta actually got away with it, that is until a flight attendant got suspicious when she asked for help stuffing her husband into an overhead compartment.
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After all the hoopla about his return to the Masters, Tiger Woods played great, but came in fourth, losing to Phil Mickelson. Tiger had vowed to contain his temper, but he threw a club after one bad shot and was caught cursing by an open mic after another. Asked about his surly mood, Woods tersely told CBS, “It’s not what I wanted…As the week went on, I kept hitting the ball worse.”
- Tiger’s wife Elin did not attend the Masters. She was busy meeting with a German woman named Gitta who was teaching her how to smuggle a dead husband onto an airplane.
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Speaking of guys who like to play “a round”…David Letterman turns 63 today…
- David’s wife had no comment…She was busy meeting with a German woman named Gitta who was teaching her how to smuggle a dead husband onto an airplane.