Today is “National Chinese Almond Cookie Day”! How do I know? Confucius TOLD ME yesterday in the Fortune Cookie I got with my lunch combo at Wong’s Chinese Carry Out on Woodward!

It’s also Winston Churchill Day… The man considered by most Histornians as the Man most responsible for Saving the World from Hitler.

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The View’s Sonny Hostin is being roundly mocked online for trying to tie the recent Earthquake in New York, the return of the Cicadas, and yesterday’s Eclipse to “Climate Change”. The claim was so ridiculous - even castmate Joy Behar called her out on it.

- Which puts me in a real quandary. Sunny’s position makes no sense. But to be honest… Joy isn’t exactly a Spokesmodel for the Mensa Society, either.

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Passengers on a Houston-bound Southwest Airlines flight recently watched in horror as the cover from one of the engines on the Boeing 737-800 came apart mid-flight forcing the pilot to make an emergency return to the airport.

- On a bright note… If there’s nothing good to watch on the “In Flight Entertainment System”… you can always just look out the window!

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JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon warned that excessive government spending in the U.S. may continue to fuel both high inflation and interest rates - which goes against what Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen says is happening.

- So I guess in this case, at least, “Dimon is NOT a Girl’s Best Friend”.

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You probably know that next Monday - April 15th is Tax Day - but it turns out not everybody is “in the know”. According to a new survey… Nearly 50% of Gen Z and Millennials (that includes people 12 to 43 years old) DIDN’T KNOW that taxes have to be filed by April 15th.

- But let’s be honest… Even if they DID know, they’d probably just wait around for the White House to announce some kind of “Tax Forgiveness” program to get votes.

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From the Creative Criminals Department…

A porch pirate in Sacramento, California was caught on camera sneaking up to a home and stealing a package - while dressed in a black garbage bag. The homeowner was so amused by the burglar’s get-up he said, “Good one” to the thief over his “Ring” camera microphone and didn’t even bother reporting the crime.

- We’ve gone from “America’s Funniest Home Videos” to “America’s Funniest Home Felonies”.

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A new genetic discovery reveals that left-handed people are rarer than many think.

- That’s just not right.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick