Scientists at the United Nations are warning that all humans must adopt a vegetarian lifestyle in order to successfully fight climate change and save the planet.

- Never has there been so much at Steak.

*****

Some Royal Watchers used “FaceApp” on the Fab Four so see what they’ll look like in the future.

- The Queen is 93 and she looks better than all four of them combined.

*****

A 70 year old man who went in for a bladder procedure and “accidentally” got circumcised in a hospital mix-up has been awarded $23,000.

- The man was so excited by the settlement he gave the surgeon a tip.

*****

A new op-ed in the Kiev Post claims that Vladimir Putin is burning out after years on the job and he’s losing his grip on power.

- Hillary Clinton was like, “Would it have killed him to burn out 3 YEARS AGO???”

*****

Both the pilot and co-pilot of a United Airlines flight from Scotland to NYC were arrested for intoxication minutes before the plane took off.

- It’s always dangerous to get on a plane whose pilots are higher than the scheduled cruising altitude.

*****

Jeff Bezos skipped the Google Climate Change-fest in Sicily so he could meet his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez’s parents.

- I feel bad for Jeff. It’s gotta be nerve wracking meeting the parents of the girl who’s one day gonna take you to the cleaners.

*****

Kevin Spacey participated in a sidewalk poetry meeting in Rome yesterday.

- Kevin read a limerick that started out, “There once was a Man from Nantucket”.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick