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President Trump is being mocked for floating the idea of starting a "Space Force" that would patrol outer space. 

- I guess he figures a lot of people already think he's Darth Vader so why not go all the way? 

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74 year old "American Pie" singer Don McClean is dating a 24 year old. 

- He was spotted with his girlfriend driving his Chevy to the Levy... with his left turn signal on. 

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Disneyland is removing a scene from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" that shows "wenches" being auctioned off and replacing them with a female pirate selling loot. 

- In a related story... look for the upcoming film "Snow White Privilege and the Seven Dwarves Who Now Identify as Tall Boys". 

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Walmart announced that they'll roll out grocery delivery in a majority of American cities by 2018. 

- Finally! People will be able to stay home and grocery shop in their stretch pants! 

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Toys R Us announced that they will close their remaining 800 stores... ending an empire that started in 1957. 

- On a happy note, if you've been looking for a Malibu Dream House, it's a buyer's market! 

- Fights are already breaking out over "Going Out of Business" merchandise with women yelling "Lego my Legos!!!" 

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64 year old Kathy Lee Gifford, whose husband Frank Gifford died in 2015, says she's open to finding love with a man with a strong faith in God and has "his own teeth". 

- But I'm bettin' she'd settle for dentures if the guy happens to own a Winery. 

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An Oklahoma mom whose marriage to her biological Son ended in divorce is now headed to jail for marrying her Daughter.

- If her daughter forgets to get her mom-wife a Mother's Day Card... somebody's gonna be sleeping on the couch. 

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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick