Good news! Ohio State head football coach Urban Meyer will retire after the Rose Bowl on Jan. 1st.

- Would it have killed him to retire two weeks ago??? Ah… Timing is everything!


Speaking of Ohio… a man stole a puppy from an Ohio pet store over the weekend by hiding him in his pocket.

- Which reminds me of the old question: “Is that a puppy in your pocket or did you just pee your pants?”


Stanford University told the Sigma Chi fraternity to remove its American flag to improve its image saying the flag could be seen as “intimidating, aggressive or alienating.”

- So the only things flying at half-mast at Stanford are the officials’ brains.


A NASA scientist says it’s possible that Aliens have already visited earth but we may not have recognized them because they are likely “extremely tiny super-intelligent” beings.

- In other words don’t waste your time looking for them at Stanford.


Archeologists uncovered the skeleton of a man, dating back around 500 years, in the mud under London's River Thames, with his thigh-high leather boots virtually intact.

- They were even more surprised to find the receipt in his pocket from “Ye Olde DSW”.


A Kenyan man needed to have emergency surgery after a cell phone he was smuggling into prison got stuck in his “caboose”.

- The poor guy only had one phone call and he accidentally butt dialed a pizza place.


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!