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Good news! Ohio State head football coach Urban Meyer will retire after the Rose Bowl on Jan. 1st.

- Would it have killed him to retire two weeks ago??? Ah… Timing is everything!

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Speaking of Ohio… a man stole a puppy from an Ohio pet store over the weekend by hiding him in his pocket.

- Which reminds me of the old question: “Is that a puppy in your pocket or did you just pee your pants?”

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Stanford University told the Sigma Chi fraternity to remove its American flag to improve its image saying the flag could be seen as “intimidating, aggressive or alienating.”

- So the only things flying at half-mast at Stanford are the officials’ brains.

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A NASA scientist says it’s possible that Aliens have already visited earth but we may not have recognized them because they are likely “extremely tiny super-intelligent” beings.

- In other words don’t waste your time looking for them at Stanford.

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Archeologists uncovered the skeleton of a man, dating back around 500 years, in the mud under London's River Thames, with his thigh-high leather boots virtually intact.

- They were even more surprised to find the receipt in his pocket from “Ye Olde DSW”.

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A Kenyan man needed to have emergency surgery after a cell phone he was smuggling into prison got stuck in his “caboose”.

- The poor guy only had one phone call and he accidentally butt dialed a pizza place.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick