It’s “National Taco Day”… AND “National Toot Your Flute Day”!

- So, if you eat a taco today, chances are a few hours later you’ll automatically be tooting your flute.

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A group of investors are trying to salvage “Toys R Us” - and plan to bring back the company in 2019.

- But you won’t see Geoffrey the Giraffe because he’s been #’ed for “Unwanted Necking” at a Malibu Dream House Party.

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A New York Jet player who was fined by the NFL after rubbing a football against his butt on Thursday Night Football has been signed as the spokesperson for “Dude Wipes” - a toilet paper substitute for men.

- The team not only fined him, BUTT gave him a new jersey… #2.

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A video of man looking at lottery tickets in a gas station has gone viral, because the man is a dead ringer for President Trump.

- The man was immediately mocked by a man who is a dead ringer for Stephen Colbert.

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A woman at an Iowa Walmart was busted after attempting to pay for her order with fake $100 bills… that had bright pink Chinese letters on them.

- How could someone be so clueless you ask? Ancient Chinese Secret!

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Researchers from Carnegie Mellon University say people who consider themselves huggers are healthier than non-huggers.

- If this is true, Harvey Weinstein is going live to be 100.

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In an appearance on CBS This Morning, Chelsea Clinton spoke out against Brett Kavanaugh - but was not even asked about her own father’s sexual history.

- Chelsea said, “I was not asked if my Dad had sexual relations with that woman… Miss Lewinsky”.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick