TRUE STORY:  The trend this year is to CHARGE family members you invite over for Thanksgiving about $30 per person. 

- Nothing says "Norman Rockwell Holiday" like asking Grandma to pass the gravy and 30 bucks at the same time. 


New research shows that due to ongoing Political tensions among family members, Americans are spending about 30 minutes less time with relatives on Thanksgiving Day. 

- Remember the good old days when all we argued about was who got the Wishbone? 

- Kim Jong Un will be eating alone since he's killed all his relatives. 


The three UCLA basketball players who faced ten years in prison for shoplifting in China are back in the U.S. and have thanked President Trump for getting them released. 

- It's a good thing they did... or they never would have heard the end of it on Trump's Twitter feed. 


According to a new study by the Journal Academia, boys get better grades when their classes have more girls in them. 

- Well yeah... that's more girls to cheat off of. 


The city of Denver announced plans to build a 200mph hyperloop that will run around town. 

- Well Bully for them, but we've got the People Mover! 


Another actress has come forward accusing Harvey Weinstein of "pleasuring himself" in front of her. 

- It's beginning to look like we owe Anthony Weiner an apology.


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!