Mariah Carey is claiming that her botched New Year's Eve performance was intentionally sabotaged by ABC to generate ratings.
- Oh c'mon. We all know it was the Russians!
A new survey found that 40% of Millennials don't have basic survival skills like knowing how to tie a knot or read a map.
- It they run into those issues, they just go to the bottom of the basement stairs and yell up "Hey Mom... a little help here?"
President Obama's closest adviser, Valerie Jarrett, says the President prides himself on the fact that he hasn't done anything to embarrass himself while in office.
- Unless you count a little thing like sending Iran $150 Billion.
Prez-Elect Trump says he may skip email and write top secret messages on paper and send them through a courier.
- Nothing new here... This is the system I used in elementary school when I wanted to send a message to a buddy of mine sitting across the room.
Meanwhile the Chief Executive of "Twitter" in China has resigned.
- He hadn't planned on leaving, but he got a fortune cookie message that read: "Resign yourself to new job opportunities in 2017".
For the first time in a long time, the most popular New Year's Resolution among Americans wasn't "To lose weight"... it was "To be a better person".
- And Marie Osmond responded, "Trust me... you'll feel like a MUCH better person if you beat that Belly Bloat with Nutri-System!"
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!