Carmen Harlan is retiring from Channel 4 after 38 years. She worked with Mort Crim for the first 18, and with Devin Scillian for the last 20. About 6 years ago, Carmen and I were at a party when she asked me how I liked retirement. I told her I loved it, and she told me she was "considering it". Apparently it took her a while to make up her mind... Her last newscast will be November 11th.
Angelina Jolie allegedly told a friend that Brad Pitt smokes tons of weed and hired a group of Russian hookers, adding that since he turned 50, he's basically "gone insane".
- Not wear-a-vial of-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-around-your-neck-like-she-did-insane...but still pretty crazy!
Anthony Weiner is in trouble AGAIN... This time for allegedly sexting with a 15 year old girl.
- In his defense, the girl actually told him she was 16.
American University is now offering free coloring books to students to help them "de-stress".
- And if that doesn't work, they all get a Juice Box and a PB & J sandwich with the crust cut off.
According to newly discovered documents, ISIS Jihadists are now giving their Brides suicide vests as wedding gifts.
- Ah yes... "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something That Goes BOOM!"
- This is what happens when you register at "Bed, Bath & The Great Beyond".
The first official Breast Milk Bank has opened in New York State where mothers who can't breast feed can get milk for their babies.
- The bank is lactated...I'm sorry, that's LOCATED... in Westchester County.
David Letterman is returning to TV for a National Geographic series on Climate Change.
- The show will feature the "Top Ten Icebergs That Are Melting" and "Stupid Human's Driving SUV's Tricks".
Donald Trump told reporters he's preparing for the upcoming Presidential debates the same way he prepared for the Republican Primary Debates.
- That explains why he's been making references to "Little Hillary".
An Italian Neurosurgeon says he is prepared to perform the first human head transplant, and will reanimate his patient using electrical current.
- The doctor said his patient won't feel a thing as he'll be given a strong Sed-A-Give. (Gene Wilder line in Young Frankenstein).
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with the first of our Fall Podcasts!