A new study found that the average person spends 117 days of their life having sex. 

- It's actually two days, but Madonna and Charlie Sheen threw off the curve. 

*****

According to a new report, the Iranian Government thinks Kim Kardashian is a Secret Agent who works for the U.S. Government. 

- For the first time, I'm kind of hoping Iran has Nukes and uses one to take her out. 

- Kanye West says "It's not true! And besides, Beyonce is the greatest Secret Agent of all time!"

*****

Donald Trump said he'd be willing to sit down and talk with North Korean President Kim Jong Un. 

- I give him 5 minutes before he starts calling him "Lil Kim". 

- Dennis Rodman said he'd love to tag along... but he has to don his wedding gown for a guest shot on TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress!"

*****

A British study found a chemical in hallucinogenic mushrooms may offer a new treatment for depression. 

- They should have figured this out when they saw how happy all the "hippies" were sleeping in the mud with no bathrooms during Woodstock in 1969.

*****

Scientists say that busy people may have better functioning brains in old age than less busy people. 

- Speaking of less busy people... I wonder what my sister's ex-husband Joe is up to these days. 

*****

Tiger Woods' former swing coach says he may not return until 2017. 

- He'll still be around clubs - but they'll be the Strip kind. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick