A new study found that the average person spends 117 days of their life having sex. 

- It's actually two days, but Madonna and Charlie Sheen threw off the curve. 


According to a new report, the Iranian Government thinks Kim Kardashian is a Secret Agent who works for the U.S. Government. 

- For the first time, I'm kind of hoping Iran has Nukes and uses one to take her out. 

- Kanye West says "It's not true! And besides, Beyonce is the greatest Secret Agent of all time!"


Donald Trump said he'd be willing to sit down and talk with North Korean President Kim Jong Un. 

- I give him 5 minutes before he starts calling him "Lil Kim". 

- Dennis Rodman said he'd love to tag along... but he has to don his wedding gown for a guest shot on TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress!"


A British study found a chemical in hallucinogenic mushrooms may offer a new treatment for depression. 

- They should have figured this out when they saw how happy all the "hippies" were sleeping in the mud with no bathrooms during Woodstock in 1969.


Scientists say that busy people may have better functioning brains in old age than less busy people. 

- Speaking of less busy people... I wonder what my sister's ex-husband Joe is up to these days. 


Tiger Woods' former swing coach says he may not return until 2017. 

- He'll still be around clubs - but they'll be the Strip kind. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!