Often shirtless, macho man Vladimir Putin, was photographed laying flat on his butt after falling on the ice during a gala Hockey game in Russia.
- Putin immediately blamed the fall on America, had the photographer shot, and banished the ice rink to Siberia.
Budweiser has temporarily renamed their beer "America" and will sell the patriotic brew through the election in November.
- Their slogan: "Making Beer Bellys Great Again".
Bernie Sanders beat Hillary Clinton big time in the West Virginia primary bringing his state wins to 19 to her 23.
- It seems like Bernie can win everything...except the nomination.
Donald Trump says that if he wins the Presidency, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie will lead his transition team.
- Christie says working for Trump has always been on his Bucket List... Of course it's a Bucket that he bought for lunch yesterday at KFC.
The University of Washington is conducting the largest study ever on how dogs age.
- Results are expected to be released next year, or in 2022 in dog years.
- Another study found that the dogs most likely to get botox or a facelift are Shar pei's.
According to an interview, Madonna ran into Anthony Weiner at an event several years ago and after talking to him for a few minutes turned to her assistant and said, "Who the BLANK is this?".
- Anthony is the first Weiner in history that Madonna didn't recognize.
Nudists in Canada are trying to figure out how to get Millennials to join the nudist lifestyle, claiming that everyone who joins is "old".
- It's not that Millennials don't get naked...it's just that they do it at a place called "College".
A new dating app called MapleMatch.com is designed to find partners for Americans who want to move to Canada if Trump wins the election.
- "MapleMatch" is a lot more catchy than it's rival app eSaskatchewan.com.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!