In an effort to end decades long rumors that he was dead, actor Abe Vigoda has died at the age of 94. He was best known for his roles as "Fish" on the sitcom "Barney Miller" and as the executed mob guy in "The Godfather".

- So finally...Fish is Sleeping With The Fishes. 


Donald Trump will not participate in tomorrow night's GOP debate hosted by Fox News because Megyn Kelly will be a moderator. He doesn't like her, because in the first debate she asked him about his many comments about women being "fat", and he thinks that was an unfair question. 

- Trump is the classic example of a kid who says if he doesn't get what he wants, "I'm gonna take my ball and go home". 

- Or possibly... The Donald and Megyn are two crazy kids who have a crush on each other. 


A 56 year old man crashed his car on I-75 in Detroit while watching a porn movie on his phone. Police say he was not wearing pants at the time. 

- Hey...maybe the guy was just a big fan of Donald Duck. 


A new survey found that Star Wars has sold $715 million worth of toys since the film came out last month. 

- Star Wars owner Disney issued a statement saying "Luke...You are our cash cow". 

- Great. More stuff cluttering up 30 year old men's apartments in their parents basements. 


Wisconsin police are looking for burglars who made off with $90,000 worth of parmesan cheese. 

- Apparently some people just don't care about their cholesterol. 


The Navy Seal who wrote a book about killing Osama Bin Laden is accused of keeping an unauthorized picture of his corpse. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to the term "Photo-Bombing". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!