In an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons", Homer and Marge will get a legal separation. 

- They were going to wait until the kids grew up but it looks like that's never gonna happen. 

*****

McDonald's has hired former Obama White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs as their Global Communications Chief. 

- It seems to me, if they want a guy who knows how to keep people informed about McNuggets, they would have hired someone who used to work for the Clinton Administration.  

*****

Melissa Rivers is replacing her mom, Joan Rivers, as the the new face of the "Fashion Police". 

- Ironically, Joan replace HERSELF as the new face of the show 372 times... every time she got a facelift. 

*****

Republican Presidential candidate Lindsay Graham says that since he's not married, he'll have "rotating First Ladies in the White House". 

- I believe "Rotating First Ladies" is one of the things on Bill Clinton's "Bucket List". 

*****

A recent survey found that Facebook is the number one source of breakups for young couples. 

- Are you like...totally...OMG...really...like...SERIOUS???

- If you've just broken up, instead of changing your relationship status to "Single "...there's a new button where you just click "Just Like Taylor Swift". 

*****

Two Pakistani suicide bombers blew themselves up after getting into a shoving match that accidentally set off their vests. 

- Friends say the two men had a simple misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion. 

*****

The Pope told reporters that computers are bad because "they contain filth that contaminates the soul". 

- And he knows this how???

*****

A Japanese online dating website was shut down after it was revealed that of it's 2.7 million users, one of them was a woman.

- The men who belonged to the site are furious and the woman is...well...exhausted. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a new Podcast! 

-Dick