NBC News announced that Brian Williams has been suspended for 6 months without pay effective immediately, which will cost him half his annual salary which comes to a cool $5 million. 

- Brian immediately issued a statement saying "After all my close call war experiences in Iraq, I need a vacation anyway".   


Jon Stewart told his audience yesterday that he will retire later this year after 17 years of hosting "The Daily Show". 

- I'm no Nostradamus...but I'm thinkin' we might be looking at "The NBC Nightly New with Jon Stewart". 


A new survey by Time Out Magazine found that Brits have the sexiest, "most dateable" accent in the world. 

- This must be the reason why Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles find each other so HOT. 

- The "least sexy" accent in the world went to the the women on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". 


Samsung's new Smart TV's are reportedly eavesdropping on owners' private conversations. 

- So far the most common thing they've overheard is, "300 plus channels and there's not one damn thing worth watching". 

- Coming in a close second: "Honey, grab the chips and dip...Duck Dynasty's coming on!"


This Thursday will be Rosie O'Donnell's last day on The View. 

- The staff plans to throw a huge party...on FRIDAY. 


In his State of the City Address last night, Mayor Duggan said Detroit is "On the road to recovery". 

- Which is good news unless you happen to drive into one of the many potholes on that road. 


Charles Manson called off his wedding after learning that his bride-to-be just wanted to sell his corpse to a museum when he dies. 

- Apparently he forgot to include the whole "don't sell my corpse" thing in their Pre-NUT-ual Agreement. 

- This is good news for all you single ladies looking for a mass murderer! Charlie is back on the market!!!


Critics are giving "50 Shades of Grey" only 3 stars because of it's underwhelming dialogue. 

- What dialogue??? 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!