Paleontologists at Edinburgh University said dinosaurs would have survived the asteroid that hit the earth 66 million years ago if it happened "at a more convenient time". 

- Like the day they were all over at Betty White's place celebrating her 50th Birthday. 

- Al Gore is already writing a book about how climate change caused the asteroid. It's called "An Inconvenient Time". 


Congress announced a deal to reform the Department of Veterans' Affairs. 

- Their first move will be to hire some actual doctors to work at the VA hospitals.   


A group of Senators wants the Feds to install anti-missile technology on US. passenger planes.  

- If they charge $5 bucks for a Snickers Bar, imagine what "Anti-Missile Technology" is gonna cost you. 


Dollar Tree is buying Family Dollar Stores for $8.5 billion. 

- They'll pay for it with 8.5 million plastic party straws and some paper drink umbrellas made in China . 


USA Today is reporting that the deadly Ebola Virus is just a plane ride away from the United States. 

- Between missiles and viruses, 72 hours on a Greyhound bus with a broken toilet is sounding like a pretty appealing way to travel. 


A study by the American Journal of Infection Control found that a fist bump spreads just one-twentieth as much bacteria as a handshake does. 

- Well you can fist bump Madonna six ways to Sunday, but if you spend the night with her you're still gonna catch something. 


Regis Philbin will reunite with Kathy Lee Gifford on August 1st when he fills in for Hoda Kotb who's on vacation from their NBC show. 

- Regis only agreed after Kathy Lee signed a contract guaranteeing that she wouldn't utter two specific words: "Cody" and "Cassidy". 

- I can't wait til Regis looks at Kathy Lee and says "My God look like you've aged 30 years."


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!