Every year on this day, I think back to something my dear, departed friend Charlie Krutsch used to say...

"Hurray! Hurray! The First of May! Outdoor... 'Romancing' Starts Today!"


Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has entered a drug and alcohol rehab facility after a video surfaced reportedly showing him smoking crack in his sister's basement last Saturday. Ford says he thinks he has a substance abuse problem. 

- Gee...ya think?  

- From now on, all his campaign speeches will start with, "Hi. My name is Rob..."


Rumors are swirling that Oprah is interesting in buying the LA Clipper's. 

- And she's going to buy everyone in the audience of her next TV show a Basketball Team of their own!

- Donald Sterling wouldn't mind her owning the team...as long as she doesn't attend any of the games. 


German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrives in America today and will spend tomorrow with President Obama at the White House. 

- Her voice is going to be so much clearer when she's secretly audio taped in the Oval Office instead of over the phone! 

- Michele Obama will serve a special German Lunch for Ms. Merkel consisting of a a Bratwurst made out of tofu and sunflower seeds. 


A Harris Interactive Poll found that Frenchmen think sex is the key to happiness, and Frenchwomen say it's chocolate. 

- Experts reminded couples to use protection, or they could end up with a Baby Ruth. 


Instagram pulled down photos of Rihanna because they say they showed too much skin.

- She should have put them on "Stripagram" where they belong.


Following their arraignment at a Connecticut courthouse over a domestic dispute, Paul Simon and Edie Brickell denied rumors that their marriage is in trouble.

- As proof, Paul said, "I can still call her Betty...and she can still call me Al".  (The video of that song with Chevy Chase is still a classic.)

- The couple took some romantic selfies, but it'll take about a week for the Kodachrome pics to be developed. 


A private Australian firm claims they've found the wreckage of the missing Malaysian Plane...7000 miles away from the current search area. 

- Sounds like somebody used "Mapquest"! 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!