In a new poll, Bill Clinton has been named the "Most Forgivable Liar Of All People Who Misled The American People". Lance Armstrong came in second, Richard Nixon third and Bernie Madoff came in dead last. (President Obama was not on the list of choices.)

Bill as PInochio.jpeg

- Bill Clinton is kind of like Pinocchio...he's a liar but apparently there's just something lovable about him!

- Kathleen Sebelius says she felt snubbed to not even receive a nomination. 


Super Bowl XLVIII was the most watched program in television history - with 111.5 million people tuning in. 

- The number would have been higher, but Peyton Manning's family turned it off halfway through the second quarter. 

- Sunday's game beat out the previous record holder: "A Very Duck Dynasty Christmas!"


The Seahawks have returned home with the Vince Lombardi Trophy after trouncing Denver in the Super Bowl. 

- The people of Seattle haven't been this high since...well...any other day this year. 


New concerns have emerged that software built for the Obamacare website was designed by techs in the very Anti-American former Russian country of Belarus. Experts fear it may contain malware that could steal Americans most personal information. 

- Luckily, very few Americans have actually been able to enter their personal information on the site so we're good to go. 

- The clue came when investigators realized that more Russians than Americans had signed up for Obamacare.


Scientists now claim that exposure to "Third Hand Smoke" is just as deadly as smoking a cigarette. They describe it as "Breathing near clothing that has been saturated with smoke". 

- In an effort to ensure Michelle's health, President Obama has vowed only to sneak cigarettes when he's naked. 


A Texas woman insists that her husband, the mayor of a small town there, was murdered, not trampled by an angry donkey as police concluded. Although boot prints were found on the man, an autopsy was never performed. 

- Apparently in Texas even the Donkeys wear boots.  

- It appears that the perpetrator was NOT a donkey, but the cops investing WERE Jack-Asses. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!