Women’s Health magazine released a list of the top five dog-like qualities women found attractive in men. They include “always willing to cuddle on the couch” and “always excited to see me when I get home”. 

- Surprisingly, dragging your butt across the carpet didn’t make the list. 

- Neither didn’t chasing tail…uh…men chasing their own tail. 

- Turns out women in the survey said their husbands actually spend more time in the dog house than their dogs do. 


The American Psychiatric Association has given “Hoarding” a new diagnosis. Hoarding is when someone can’t part with possessions, even if the stuff is worthless. 

- This explains the American peoples’ unwillingness to get rid of Congress. 


Despite recent strides in “sex addiction” research, the American Psyciatric Association says sex addiction is NOT an official disorder. 

- Well there goes that excuse. 


On Fox News, actor Ed Asner asked a producer if he could urinate on him. 

- When Mary Tyler Moore heard this story she said, “Mr. Grant!!!!!” 

- Apparently he was trying to demonstrate the theory of “Trickle Down Economics”. 

- Fox execs say Asner is welcome back on the network “as long as he watches his Pees and Q’s”. 


86-year-old Hugh Hefner and his 26 year-old fiance Crystal Harris obtained their marriage license in preparation for their New Year’s Eve Wedding. 

- And you thought it was exciting watching the Times Square ball drop. 

- Usually when you hear about something 86 being over 26…it’s someone with incredibly low blood pressure. 

- Hugh made Crystal sign a pre-nup and she made him sign a DNR. 


On this day in 1607 Captain John Smith left Jamestown on the trip that would later involve him with Pocahontas. 

- The next day the couple became the first people in history to sign into a motel as “Mr. & Mrs. John Smith”. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!