The death of Jong-Un’s father, Kim Jong Il, who reportedly shot 11 holes-in-one in his first golf game and never had to defecate in his whole life is still causing outpourings of grief. Believe it or not, a family of bears that would normally be hibernating now were spottted along a roadside, “crying woefully.”

- They added that Goldilocks was so distraught she couldn’t even attend the funeral! 

- So the key to being #1 is never going #2! 

- He never went to the bathroom his whole life?  No wonder he was so meanspirited! 

- Jung Il’s favorite song was “Brown Eyed Girl”. 

- Unlike his father, Kim Jong-Un does “answer the call of nature” - so much so that some people call him, “Kim Jong-Dung”.