For the past few days, the news has been full of North Koreans wailing in anguish over the death of their “Dear Leader”, Kim Jong-Il. But they never seem to shed any tears and dissidents say there’s a good reason for that: They’re faking it.  It’s believed that they’re afraid not to look sad enough. One kindergarten teacher said she used to have to take her class twice a day to honor the statue of the last dictator, Kim’s father, and was shocked to see that kids that young already knew how to put spit on their faces to look like they’d been crying. 

- The real tears came naturally when Kim Jong-Il and his father were ALIVE. 

- Of course they can’t cry! They haven’t had enough food or water to hydrate themselves in the last 17 years!