The world is mourning (huh?) the death of longtime North Korean dictator Kim Jong Ill. According to official North Korean reports, the “Dear Leader” died of heart failure on a train following “great mental and physical strain” from a “high intensity field inspection”.  There will be a ten-day mourning period leading up to his funeral on December 28th. During that time, no “entertainment” will be allowed and no foreign dignitaries will be invited to attend the service “who might wish to convey their condolences”. 

- Which means Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad can stick with their original Christmas vacation plans.  

- The North Korean people will also fast for ten days… which is the basically the same thing they’ve been doing for the last ten years. (Actually a lot more than that but who’s counting?) 

- His funeral will be followed by the traditional Korean Funeral Brunch featuring “Schnauzer Sausage”, “Collie Kebobs”, and “Poodle Popovers”.

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