Martha Stewart’s daughter Alexis has written a tell-all dedicated to her mom, but I doubt Martha’s gonna like it. Alexis says her mother had no parenting skills, isn’t “kid-friendly” and made her do everything over and over until it was perfect.  She said, “I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head.”

- Which explains the decorative brass & ribbon towel holder she has hanging from her ear! 

Alexis also claims that in reality, Martha’s house isn’t all that perfect.  She says Martha has a sign on the door telling guests to take their shoes off, even though the dogs relieve themselves all over her rugs.  And her Mom has a habit of leaving the bathroom door open when she pees.  Alexis says she begged Martha to close the door because it was so embarrassing when she had friends over. 

- Apparently Martha believes having teenage girls watch you pee “Is A Good Thing!”

- Maybe Martha just wanted everyone to know that she was #1… in  more than just the ratings. 

- In her defense, Martha let the dog poop air-dry, then shellacked it and turned it into “an adorable, one of a kind paper weight!”