First Full Day of Autumn…

This is a story as reported word for word by the Associated Press: 

Headline:  Man’s Schnitzel is Too Big

Size matters - Gerhard Kaltscheuer owns a working class restaurant in Hammerbruecke, Germany, where he sells about 70 schnitzels, or veal cutlets, a day.  But the tax office say that based on the amount of ingredients he buys, he must be selling 200 a day and should be paying more taxes.  Kaltscheuer says it’s none of the governments business if his schnitzel happens to be extra large, and his customers like it that way.  He said if his schnitzel were smaller, than nobody would want it.  Supporters held a rally yesterday in defense of Kaltscheuer’s big schnitzel.  

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Parting of the Red Sea Possible

The U.S. National Center for Atmospheric Research proved that Moses’ parting of the Red Sea as depicted in the Bible could have really happened. Using computer simulations, there is one point in the Red Sea where a strong east wind, blowing all night long, could have pushed back the water enough to have exposed a land bridge.  They say this jibes with the account in Exodus of how a mighty east wind parted the sea for the Israelites to escape.  

One time I was at a cocktail party with Charlton Heston, and when he got up to get himself a drink at the bar, he asked me what I wanted.  So Moses got me a beer!  Too bad I didn’t ask him then how he parted the sea!

Scientists Discover Homer Simpson Gene

They need some grant “D’oh!”  Scientists at Emory University have discovered a, “stupid gene”.  The gene appears to block connections in the brain.  When they deleted the gene in lab mice the mice became more intelligent.  They had better memories and were able to get through a maze faster.  The researchers dubbed it, “The Homer Simpson Gene”.  They said their dream is to find a way to switch the gene off and improve brain power.  

“The Homer Simpson Gene”?  How about “The David Hasselhoff Gene”?  Or “The Kwame Kilpatrick Gene”?  Or “The Monica Conyers Gene”?  Or “The Paris Hilton Gene”?  

If you have a suggestion for a name for the gene, post in on our Facebook page!

Look Who’s Sleeping in My Bed!

The Hyatt Rosemont Hotel, near O’Hare Airport in Chicago, is hosting a bedbug convention, for entomologists and exterminators to share samples of bed bugs and ideas on how to stop them.  

The other guests were thrilled to hear they were there at the same time as the bedbug convention.  

Ironically the dining room of the hotel was booked for a Cockroach Convention at the same time.  

Today’s Almanac…

On this day in 1939 a time capsule was buried at the NY World’s Fair.  It contained a woman’s hat and other objects.  It was to opened in the year 6939.  

I can’t wait until it’s opened to find out what else is in there.  

Geraldo Rivera’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson will be there broadcasting live when they open it.  


Have a great first full day of Fall and we’ll see you back tomorrow!

- Dick