Purtan Podcast #116: "From Keener to Weiner!"

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Welcome to the weekend and another "Pothole Podcast"! (#116 - 39:42)

On tap today: 

- My problem with Jimmy Fallon as host of the Tonight Show. 

- How I ended up taking the job at Keener 13 (after turning it down twice) and how a fist fight between two jocks in the studio led me to take over the morning show ahead of schedule. 

- The incredible Life & Death story of Keener newsman Ed Mullen...including how he died and actually lived to tell about it! 

- Why the PC world we live in is a real bummer. 

- Who's got the best Chicken sandwich...McDonald's or Burger King. And which one I'd cross the road to get to. 

- How Anthony Weiner "popped up" in the news...again...and why I think the guy getting the press should be the incredibly talented Seth McFarland from "The Family Guy". 

- How I almost bought Hitler's Globe...and did buy Clark Gable's personal script from "Gone With the Wind". 

All that and lots more in Podcast #116. I know it's a lot to take in, but you can always listen to it again tomorrow. After all...Tomorrow is another day! 

Have a great weekend! 


Purtan Podcast #117: "Hot Seat For Col-bert!"

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Welcome to the weekend and a brand new "Pothole Podcast"...#117!

Today's offerings include: 

- How and what Stephen Colbert will do when he takes over for David Letterman in 2015.

- Taylor Swift's parents big "takeover" of her career.

- "Throw-Back Thursdays"... What are they?

- What 93 year old Mickey Rooney's estate was worth when he died and who he didn't want to be buried near. 

And finally...

- Great news for men who are into older (and I mean much older) women!

Plus lots more in Podcast #117!   (28:11)

Have a great weekend!


Purtan Podcast #119: "What To Do Before You Cut Off Your Penis"

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Hello and welcome to another fabulous Spring weekend in Michigan! (Yeah, right...) The temperature may not be so hot, but Podcast #119 is chock full of things to warm your cockles. Here's just a sample: 

- Why, if you're thinking of cutting off you're penis, you should really think it thru.

- Do Jihadi woman get 72 virgins like the men do? 

- Why getting one of KFC's "Chicken Corsages" for Prom should be on your Bucket List. 

 - How unbelievably bad (in our opinions) Will Ferrell's  "Anchorman II" movie really was. 

- My one experience with "Mary Jane" and how Jackie almost became engaged to a lamp. 

- True Hollywood "Dope Stories" from our special guest, Tom Delisle. 


- Something I've done to make a foot injury more comfortable that has suddenly become a hot fashion trend among the "Beautiful People"!

There's lots more, so pour yourself a nice cool refreshing glass of hot coffee and warm up to Podcast #119!  (36:34).

Have a great weekend!


Purtan Podcast #120: "Dick, Gail & Jackie Talk Don, George and Rob!"

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Welcome to the first weekend of May...and Podcast #120!  Today, my wife Gail, daughter Jackie and I offer up an All-You-Can-Listen-To-Buffet including:

- Donald Sterling and his "unusual" Mistress.

- How Jackie accidentally almost re-created the "plot" of an adult film, when she answered the door for the exterminator wearing...well, not much. 

- The theories behind George Clooney's engagement. (Yes...there are actually "theories" about it!)

- Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's astounding realization that he "might have a substance abuse problem". (You can't get anything by this guy!)

- People with Photographic memories. (Very helpful...but hard to post on Facebook!)


-The night Jackie's chin turned purple and why...

- And another installment in what has somehow become a regular Podcast Feature... "Dick's Injury of the Week!"

So grab a lawnchair (and a blanket) and join us as we usher in a rather chilly May with Podcast #120.

Have a great weekend!


Purtan Podcast #118: "Here Comes Dickie Cottontail!"

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Welcome to Easter Weekend and Podcast #118! Here's what the Easter Bunny (along with Jackie and special guest Tom DeLisle) has in his basket for you this week: 

- How Al Pacino's looks and voice have changed so dramatically since "The Godfather" days.

- Bruce Jenner's "Chesticles" (He could be a Victoria Secret Model...)

- Why is the world obsessed with the Kardashians?

- Speaking of big butts...We'll tell you a funny story about how Nipsey Russell once described a beauty pageant contestant on live TV. 

- How Greta "I Vant To Be Alone" Garbo used the produce section of a grocery store to exchange secret messages with a certain actor. 

- Jimmy Durante's surprise call to Dick's father-in-law and how it came about. 

- The average yearly salaries for Detroit's Professional Sports Teams - The winners and the losers. 

- The new Michigan Football broadcast team and who Dick thinks is the hardest working man in on-air play-by-play coverage. 

- Dick's discovery of a mysterious Aunt named "Flo" that no one in his family EVER mentioned. 

- The most famous movie OF ALL TIME. 

- How our special guest Tom Delisle came to meet Elvis and the secret system the "Memphis Mafia" used to make sure the King of Rock 'n Roll met only the "hottest babes". 

- And which of Elvis's co-stars became a nun after working with him. (And still is!) 

There's plenty more, but we don't want to put all of our Podcast "Eggs" in one Blog Basket! 

So hop on down the Bunny Trail and tune in to Podcast #118!  (45:30)


Purtan Podcast #113: "How Dick Became 'A Dude' In One Day"

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Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #113...our first "Pothole Podcast". My wife Gail, daughter Jackie and I talk about the dangers of swerving drivers due to the virtual invasion of these road wreckers. And speaking of invasions...We discuss Hillary Clinton's recent comparison of Vladimir Putin to none other than Hitler. (Apparently Ukraine is the new Poland). Also speaking of invasions...we'll tell you about Bill Clinton's recent "accidental" photo op with two prostitutes. 

From there I'll tell you the Five Words I've been mispronouncing my entire life...and you probably have been too! 

Then suddenly, WH-ooo (that's a hint) walks in...but my special guest, former "Purtan's Person" Joe Noune. (He wasn't late - we just started without him). He immediately notices that I am now sporting not only my traditional mustache, but a goatee and a new hairstyle. 

It all started as a way to raise money for the recent Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club Radiothon and ended up changing my entire "Look". Yes, with the help of my barber, an olympic size swimming pool and two blow driers, I managed to create the "Just Rolled Out Of Bed" look so many Hollywood types are sporting. Hard to believe...but after all these years I'm finally "A Dude". I'm "Hip"! 

As I bask in my "Coolness", I'll reveal the REAL REASON I retired... and if that isn't shocking enough, Jackie tells us about a new remote control device accidentally discovered by scientists that will allow women to experience the big "O" (and I'm not talking Oprah) with the touch of a button. 

Get ready guys...the girls are about to get their very own Clicker! 

From Potholes to "Personal Pleasure" it's all in Podcast #113!  (36:12)

Have a great weekend, and my goatee and I will see you back here Monday with our regular blog! 


Purtan Podcast #109: "Did Ya Miss Me?"

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Welcome to the weekend and Podcast #109 featuring...drum roll please!...The return of Dick Purtan! (Okay...enough of referring to myself in the 3rd person. That's just weird). Anyway...after a three week vacation I'm back at the dining room table with daughter Jackie for Podcast #109.

And we've got plenty to catch up on. From the insane weather (is it any wonder Chuck Gaidica is hanging up his Doppler?) to Justin Bieber's on-going crime spree, a lot happened in January. Most shocking of all has to be the news that The Captain and "Love Will Keep Us Together" Tennille, are divorcing after 39 years of marriage. (No word yet on who gets custody of the Muskrats). I'll tell you a story involving one of the Tennilles, a frisbee, and a pastel undergarment from my days Emceeing at Pine Knob. 

I'll also tell you why the Queen of England is being forced to live "on a budget", what target weight do airlines design their seats for, and a personal story about an encounter my wife Gail and I had the other day at Metro Airport with two women who give the word "clueless" a whole new meaning. 

I've also got a BIG (literally and figuratively) announcement  about the Salvation Army's Bed & Bread Club Radiothon that's coming up on Friday, Feb. 21. (I think you'll be as surprised by it as Jackie was). And I'll reveal some shocking news about a certain someone who is about to start doing Stand-Up comedy. 

So say goodbye to January and hello to Podcast #109! 

Have a great weekend! 



Purtan Podcast #108: "Jackie Takes A Short Solo Flight"

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Welcome to the weekend and a brand new Podcast (#108)! Dick (aka my Dad) is spending yet another week abroad. (At least this time he's not with that "broad" Dennis Rodman!) leaving me at the helm of Podcast Central. I tried to get a special guest for your listening entertainment, but alas, my first choice (George Clooney) and my second choice (any one of my five sisters) all turned me down. (Apparently George is busy on a movie set, and my sisters just aren't all that fond of me.)

That means for the first time in history...there's just one person on the Purtan Podcast today...and that person is...well...me!

But worry not...without anyone to talk to, I keep it shorter than one of Miley Cyrus's skirts (if she actually wore one) at an Awards Show. 

I'll reveal what international "celebrity" Dad is spending the weekend with, offer exciting details of my recent bout with the flu (grab a tissue!) , and I'll tell you what my life has in common with Tiger Woods. (And no it's not that we both like to putter around the house).

So take off your ear muffs for a few minutes and warm up to Podcast #108! 

Have a great weekend and Dad and I will see you back here Monday with the regular blog! 


Purtan Podcast #106: "Where's Dick???"

Jackie here...

Welcome to the weekend and a brand new Podcast...#106! We decided to fill our first fresh installment of the New Year with just about everything under the sun - with one minor exception: My Dad. 

Why isn't he here to kick off 2014 with us? You'll have to listen to find out! (Hint: it involves a a wedding dress, a jock strap, and a really bad barber). 

But fear not...one of our favorite guests, the always amusing Joe, story teller extraordinaire Noune, joins me for a fascinating (his word) conversation.

Case in point: Joe reveals two things he recently left at a gas station during a 20 below wind chill fill-up that has left him less of a man, but with a falsetto that would make the fat lady at the opera jealous. Plus, I'll tell you about an incredibly popular movie I saw over the holidays that I thought was so bad (as did my Dad), that we actually warned people waiting in line for the next showing to go see the Mary Poppins movie instead. 

And as hard as it is to believe, it's been 13 years this week since we lost our long time friend and Dad's long time radio show producer & comic genius, Gene Taylor, to an asthma attack. We share some great stories about Gene's wit, how he and Dad worked together like "Comedic Surgeons"...and how Gene loved to remind me (especially at public appearances) that he used to change my diapers. The really embarrassing part is...it's true! (Gene always did know how to "Pamper" the ladies"...)

So sit back, try to think about Dad's mustache (it's better than thinking about mine!) and warm up your ears with Podcast #106! 



Purtan Podcast #105: Forget "Christmas Carol...We've Got Matinee Mindy!"

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Today Dick kicks off the final push towards Christmas with a return visit by "Matinee Mindy". Mindy spent years as Producer/Sidekick for Tom Ryan at WOMC (Yup...the same WOMC where Dick did the morning show for years). Speaking of which, Mindy reveals some behind-the- scenes info on how Dick ended up replacing Tom in the mornings - and how Mindy's sleuthing at the station forced her to keep a secret from Tom for a very long time! (Okay, it was only a week, but for Mindy...that's an eternity!) Plus more of her "Bad First (and Last) Bad Date Stories! Click now some Pre-Christmas Chuckles...Mindy-style! 


Purtan Podcast #104: "Blind (Deaf & Dumb) Dates With "Matinee Mindy"

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Today Dick welcomes a very special guest to Podcast Central..."Matinee Mindy". Mindy was the longtime producer and sidekick for Tom Ryan during the years both Dick and Tom were at WOMC. Mindy's never married...but she's dated - a lot! Join Dick and Jackie as Mindy recounts some of her hilarious "Best Worst Dates". (She really needs to rethink her membership on eFindMeALoser.com!)


Purtan Podcast#102: "Stuff This!"

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Welcome to the weekend-after-Thanksgiving and Dick's latest Podcast #102. Much like your Turkey Day Plate was Thursday, today's installment is heaped high with a virtual cornucopia of tasty tidbits! Join Dick and the gang for this edible...that's audible...buffet for your ears! 

Unlike that iThing your kids want, the Podcast is FREE. That's what we call "gravy"!



Purtan Podcast #101: 50 Years Later, Remembering 4 Days That Shocked The World...

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As the nation marks the 50th Anniversary of the Assassination of President John F. Kennedy, Dick welcomes his good friend, and longtime friend of the Kennedy family Tom Delisle to the table. Dick shares personal stories of his amazing encounters with JFK, and Tom shares some behind-the-scenes information including how one his friends ended up being a pall bearer for Lee Harvey Oswald and how the gun Jack Ruby used to take him down in that parking garage ended up in Detroit. Incredible details you won't hear anywhere else in Podcast #101. 



Podcast #100: "Celebrate Good Times...C'mon!"

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To celebrate his 100th Podcast Dick invited the whole Purtan family to grab a mic & join him around the dining room table! Of the 21 members only 7 were able to make it (work, school, etc...). Dick said he totally understands and knows those who didn't show will understand the upcoming "adjustments" he'll be making to his will! The "party attendees" take you on a whirlwind tour of everything from "What's Hot" (a certain baseball manager) to "What's Not" (the huge social networking site teens are "so over") and just about everything in between! So Grab a noise maker and join the Party!

Purtan Podcast #99: "Halloweeners & Losers"

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Join Dick as he and the gang offer up both "Tricks" and "Treats".  From a new website that can tell you if anyone has ever died in your house (a great ice-breaker when you have friends over for dinner), to Henry Winkler going from "The Fonz" to pushing Reverse Mortgages, to possibly the scariest topic of all: How the Obamacare numbers are really adding up (or not) for most Americans. We turn the clocks back this weekend, so you've got a whole extra hour to tune in Podcast #99! 



Purtan Podcast #98: "Note-Worthy News???

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Welcome to Dick's latest Podcast (#98) -  featuring an encore visit from one of Dick's most popular (according to his wife) and entertaining guests, Tom Delisle.  

Today Dick challenges Tom and Jackie to a game of "Name That Tune"... with Dick providing the tunes on his very own xylophone.  (Okay it's not really the one in the picture - it's a tad more grown-up).   

The trio also talk about the then pro-athlete who had affair with Johnny Carson's 2nd wife as revealed in a new book by Johnny's attorney, why former Tiger Manager Jim Leyland mumbled all the time, and the technical reason that pro ball players spit so much. (Who needs cable news when you've got this Podcast???)

Plus, they'll tell you why newscasters (not Dick's daughter JoAnne, of course!) have begun using words like "Flippin'" and "Freakin'" on the air, plus the time Dick and his wife Gail made a horrible mistake by giving a video wedding gift that went "Freakin'" horribly wrong.  

So before you even think about carving your pumpkins, carve out a little time to check out Podcast #98!


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Purtan Podcast #97: "Batting Around A Few Topics..."

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Today Dick, daughter Jackie, and special guest (and former "Purtan's Person") Tom Delisle, offer up Podcast #97. The only thing missing from today's "Podisode" is a discussion of the outcome of Game 5 against the Bosox. Why you ask? The game was just hours away from being played at the time of recording! But the trio does touch on a whole roster of other topics including Prince Fielder's astronomical "Per-Pitch" salary, Dick's latest exercise routine, and Jackie's burning desire for one of those Walk-In Bathtubs. (Don't ask!) In an effort to top that, Tom - who was friends with the Kennedy family - Yes, THAT Kennedy Family - shares some hard-to-beleive-but-true-stories about his times with "American Royalty" and confesses to stealing something very unusual from their Compound at Hyannis Port. So GO TIGERS!!!!! And GO TAKE A LISTEN TO PODCAST #97! 

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Podcast #96: "He Said, She Said, Jim Said."rrrrr

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In Dick's Latest Podcast, you'll find him and Jackie sparring with the often humorous and always argumentative former "Purtan's Person" Jim Ochs. The trio laughs and disagrees on everything from old movie stars to violent video games. And Jim even offers 10 scientifically proven signs that prove he's a bad conversationalist! And did we mention there's music?  Prepare to "take notes"!