Dennis Rodman is back in North Korea for what some say is more Basketball Diplomacy with his "good friend" Kim Jong Un. 

- But Rodman claims he just wanted to surprise KJU when he graduates from Middle School later this week. 

*****

The Jury in the Bill Cosby trial heads into Day Two of deliberations today, after Cosby's attorney stunned the courtroom by resting the defense case after just 6 minutes. 

- To be fair, his attorney had to rush, since Cosby had slipped the Jurors "a little something to help them relax" during deliberations. 

*****

According to the LGBTQ Representation and Rights Initiative, at least 20 transgender candidates are currently running for office across the U.S.

- Just what this country needs... more politicians who "Flip-Flop". 

*****

A new survey found that more and more Americans are "Phubbing" their significant others. Phubbing is when you look at your phone and ignore your date.  

- I miss the good old days when people just did that by staring at the TV. 

*****

A study by the New England Journal of Medicine found that 2 Billion people in the world are obese. 

- Put another way, that's 1,999,999,999 people plus Michael Moore. 

*****

A North Carolina female high school teacher was arrested for having sex with three of her male students. 

- She actually had sex with dozens of students, but only three of them agreed to press charges. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick

Saturday marked the one year Anniversary of the death of Gordie Howe. Ironically, I was going through some old family photos over the weekend, and came across this shot of Gordie and my wife Gail. He always adored her. 

*****

Sponsors are pulling their funding for NYC's "Shakespeare in the Park" production of "Julius Caesar" which features a Donald Trump look-a-like as Caesar who is stabbed to death on stage. 

- Producers say the idea to use the President came from a Ms. K. Griffin. 

- With Trump's hair, I'm amazed they didn't call it "Orange Julius Caesar". 

*****

Producers of the reality show "Bachelor in Paradise" which reunites rejects from past seasons of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette". 

- Why is it my FAVORITE TV shows always get yanked off the air??? 

*****

Cher announced that she will produce and star in a Broadway musical based on her life. 

- The working title is "I Got A Plastic Surgeon, Babe". 

*****

A woman in Waco, Texas called 911 to report that her Chicken McNuggets weren't being cooked fast enough. Two officers were sent to handle the "emergency". 

- I don't know which part is more unbelievable... The Wacko in Waco or the fact that Police were actually sent to the scene. 

*****

DoSomething.org says 40 percent of teens are ‘sexting’.

- Half of the teens are sexting each other, the other half are sexting with Anthony Weiner.

*****

RIP Actor Adam West, TV's Batman and Actress Glenn Headly, whose credits include a role in "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels", one of my favorite movie comedies. Both passed away over the weekend. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Two big Courtroom Dramas today... James Comey and Bill Cosby. To be honest, I don't know which of the two is more Bizarre. 

*****

 Uber has fired 20 executives over sexual harassment claims. 

- On the bright side, they've all been hired by Fox News. 

*****

The CDC is warning people who keep poultry as pets to "stop cuddling with their chickens" to prevent the spread of Salmonella. 

- If you need the Centers for Disease Control to tell you to stop canoodling with your pet chicken, you may have bigger things to worry about than Salmonella. 

*****

Tom Cruise has announced that he will star in the long awaited sequel to his 1986 hit movie, "Top Gun". 

- The movie will be rated "S"... which means to buy a ticket you have to be a Scientologist.

*****

A student at Harvard who wrote and submitted a Rap Album as his Senior Thesis has received an "A". 

- If you follow this line of reasoning, Kanye West is basically a Valedictorian. 

*****

George Clooney and his wife Amal announced the birth of their twins Ella and Alexander yesterday. 

- I miss the old days when celebrities gave their kids old fashioned names like "Apple" and "Blue Ivy". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

Jerry Seinfeld has come to the defense of Kathy Griffin after her ISIS-like Donald Trump video, saying "She made a bad joke. I don't understand the big deal". 

- I never thought I'd say this, but I think Jerry might be suffering from Brain Shrinkage! Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.  

*****

According to a new report, James Comey told Attorney General Jeff Sessions that he "didn't want to be left alone" with President Trump after meeting with him in February. 

- I think Comey had Trump confused with Bill Cosby. 

*****

Chinese Government officials announced that they will send a man to the moon "in the near future". 

- Awesome! If they can do it by 2019... they can put up some 50th anniversary balloons where Apollo 11 landed in 1969! 

*****

A new study out of Michigan State University found that that friendships are more important to happiness than your family members because you pick your friends. 

- That explains why you always hear about Kim Jong Un whacking his Aunts and Uncles, but never his frat brothers from Communist U. 

*****

Talk about the "Cable Guy!"... The CEO of Comcast was the 6th highest paid exec of 2016, earning 33 Million. 

- But to be fair, he blew through about half of that when he added the HBO and NFL packages. 

- Jobs like his are In Demand, I mean ON Demand. 

*****

A Syracuse, NY man is was arrested for identity theft after stealing $3.5 Million dollars in City Funds to buy tickets to NFL games around the country. 

- If he thought he saw a lot of guys patting each other on the butt during the huddles, just wait until he gets to prison. 

- And he's going to the be the receiver of a lot of completed passes. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Welcome to a brand new week and Podcast #218! Today our good friend - the always entertaining Tom DeLisle joins Jackie and me at the Purtan Dining Room Table for a spirited discussion about a whole boatload of topics... Right up to the moment the equipment malfunctioned and cut us off at the 34 minute mark. Apparently the computer decided that we had talked enough! Hopefully you'll find it more entertaining than the recording software did... 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

In a speech yesterday, Hillary Clinton blamed Russia & Facebook (among others) for her election loss. President Trump swiftly responded:  "Crooked Hillary Clinton now blames everybody but herself, refuses to say she was a terrible candidate".

- Would someone please wake me up when the election is over! Oh... wait... 

In response, Clinton posted a mocking Tweet reading: “People in covfefe houses shouldn’t throw covfefe.” 

- He tweeted back: "Hillary, Did you forget that I actually live in a White House??? Sad!!!" 

*****

President Trump is expected to announce whether or not the US will stay with the multi-nation pact on Climate Change, agreed to by former Prez Obama. 

- Aides say Trump checked the weather twice this morning and didn't notice much of a change, so chances are good we'll be pulling out. 

*****

United Airlines is facing a $435,000 fine after flying a Boeing 787 that may have been unsafe nearly two dozen times on domestic and international flights in 2014.

- But on the bright side, they didn't drag one single passenger off any of those unsafe flights. 

*****

Scientists say machines with Artificial Intelligence will be better at writing high-school essays by 2026, driving a truck by 2027, and working in retail by 2031.

- The "retail" thing would have come sooner, but they're having a hard time teaching the robots to be rude to customers. 

*****

The Mayor of Denver arranged for a Drone to deliver doughnuts to the Police Department yesterday. 

- Unfortunately none of the cops where there to enjoy them as they were all at the Doughnut Shop. 

*****

China has shut down a popular dating app for Lesbians. 

- It was called eHer-mony.com 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

President Trump ignited a social media firestorm just after midnight when he Tweeted: "Despite the constant negative press covfefe", leaving millions of people trying to figure out what a "covfefe" is. 

- Democrats claim it's a Russian word meaning "My son-in-law Jared was deeply involved with Putin hacking the election". 

*****

A Gallup poll found that 42% of Americans don't get enough sleep. 

- The other 58% don't stay up waiting to read Trump's latest Tweet.

*****

Huma Abedin has reportedly rekindled her romance with her estranged husband Anthony Weiner, despite his history of sexting pics of himself to numerous women. 

- Good to see things are looking up for Weiner. 

*****

Comedian Kathy Griffin says she "went to far" when she posted a video of herself holding a mock-up of Trumps head, covered in blood, in and ISIS-like photo. Experts say she could be arrested for threatening the life of the President. 

- This is the most un-funny thing Kathy's done since every appearance she's ever made on CNN's New Year's Eve Show with Cooper Anderson. 

*****

Openly Trump-Hostile Scott Pelley is out as the anchor of the CBS Evening News after consistently losing to ABC and NBC in the ratings.

- Former NBC Anchor Brian Williams said he feels bad for Scott, whom he has been friends with "since I helped him make it out of the Hindenburg alive". 

*****

After 12 years of marriage,Vili Fualaau has filed for legal separation from his wife and former sixth-grade teacher Mary Kay Letourneau, who began an affair with him when he was her 13 year old student. 

- Letourneau insists they're not getting divorced... she's just putting him in a "Time Out". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

ESPN is taking heat for photo shopping Tiger's rather unflattering DUI mugshot to make his balding, messy hair look better.

- Nick Nolte was like, "Hello? Where were you people when I was arrested???" 

*****

Monday night, Tiger apologized to his fans for his Memorial Day DUI arrest, blaming it on an "unexpected reaction" to pain meds NOT alcohol... which was just confirmed by police blood tests. 

- Tiger's current and former girlfriends have offered their support... all 3,457 of them. 

*****

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told Harvard grads that the Government should provide everyone with a basic income so they have a safety net to "experiment in life". 

- Okay Mark, you go first. 

- Maybe Zuckerberg should "experiment" with creating a tree that actually grows money so that he could pay for that. 

*****

Japan announced they will join forces with the US to stop North Korea's nuke program, meanwhile Kim Jong Un promised a "Gift Package" for the United States. 

- I don't think KJU realizes that the gift would be returned... even if he doesn't include the receipt. 

*****

In a commencement address at Brown University, Robert DeNiro said that 'in movie terms' the US was once an 'an inspiring, uplifting drama' but now is nothing but a 'tragic dumbass comedy.'

- You know, it used to be like "Meet The Fockers" and now it's more like "Little Fockers".  

- Trump immediately Tweeted "YOU TALKIN' TO ME??? SAD!!!" 

*****

A robot called "Bot Dylan" was able to write music after analyzing 23,000 folk songs. 

- Which finally answers the question, "How many songs must a robot analyze... before he can write one of it's own?" 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

Each Memorial Day, for the last many years that I was on the radio, I would read a poem on the air called "The Inscription". 

It was sent to me by an Ohio listener named Paul Reside and was written by Paul's Grandmother, Annabelle Gunnett Jones, who composed it in 1932. 

Annabelle was inspired to write the poem by her husband, a World War I Veteran, as a tribute to the Unknown Soldier, and was published by the Perry County Ohio newspaper on what was then called "Decoration Day". 

On this Memorial Day, as we remember those who have given their lives in the cause of Freedom, I hope you will enjoy my reading of the poem from the radio show, which you can hear by clicking on the link below. 

“The Inscription” by Annabelle Gunnett Jones  (1:52)

I hope you are enjoying a safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend. God Bless America!

-Dick 

P.S. Here are three songs that I find appropriate to play today… 

"God Bless America" - Sandy Patty 

"The Star Spangled Banner" - Whitney Houston 

"God Bless The USA" - Lee Greenwood

The Michigan Senate has approved a bill that would allow dogs to accompany their owners on restaurant patios - but any "accidents" would have to be cleaned up immediately. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to "I know this great little Spot for pasta". 

*****

After meeting with the Pope Wednesday, Melania Trump announced that she is a practicing Roman Catholic... making her the first Catholic to live in the White House since John & Jackie Kennedy. 

- As opposed to Bill Clinton who was the first person since the Kennedy's to have a "youngster" hiding under his desk. 

*****

A Republican Candidate in Montana was witnessed body slamming a reporter who pressed him about healthcare during an interview yesterday. 

- The candidates spokesman said he hurt the reporter in order to show what great healthcare he would receive. 

*****

Cuba is opening it's first luxury hotel this week. 

- Just look for the sign reading "We're Still Communist-Red Roof Inn".

*****

New documents reveal that President Obama allowed 16 illegal teenage members of the infamous MS-13 gang into the country and placed them in group homes across the U.S. 

- But in his defense, Michelle did make sure they had to eat Kale with every meal. 

*****

An official in Sweden has introduced a proposal that would allow workers to go home for an hour once a week in order to have sex. 

- Which is great because an hour leaves men 58 minutes to drive home and back to work. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick

President Trump wrapped up a meeting with the Pope this morning. 

- He tweeted "Great Guy! "Francis" kind of a girly name... but pulled off wearing White before Memorial Day like a CHAMP!!!" 

- Vatican insiders said it was a real "Come to Jesus meeting". 

*****

Earlier in the week, Trump became the first sitting U.S. President in history to visit Israel's Western Wall. 

- It went really well until he announced that he didn't think the Wall was tall enough. 

*****

The American Journal of Pediatrics says that kids under age one shouldn't drink fruit juice. 

- Apparently all that sugar could hurt the teeth they don't have. 

*****

A Parole Board announced that they will review OJ Simpson's case in July. 

- They're not going to let him out... they're just going to sit there and laugh at him for getting nailed for robbery after getting away with murder. 

*****

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons says there has been a 20% increase in Gender Reassignment surgeries in the last year and a half. 

- Apparently a lot of guys finally had the cojones to come forward and say they'd rather be women... but then they lost their cojones. 

*****

RIP... Sir Roger Moore, the man who once called himself "the fourth best James Bond" has died at age 89. 

- He was going to pass away last week, but decided to Die Another Day. 

- Moore will be cremated, then put in an urn which will be shaken but not stirred. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

Our Prayers go out to the victims and families of the Massacre in Manchester. 

Another cowardly act inspired by the Evil that is ISIS. 

Back tomorrow...

-Dick

Clint Eastwood says the world has "lost it's sense of humor" and that "Dirty Harry" couldn't be made today because it would be considered un-PC by the "kiss-ass generation". 

- Feel free to criticize Clint's point of view... if you're feeling lucky, punk. 

*****

Bob Segar has added a second show in Detroit... He'll play The Palace on September 23rd. 

- At 72, "Night Moves" now tells the story of how many times Bob gets up during the night to try to go to the bathroom. 

*****

In other music news, 71 year old Cher performed at the Billboard Music Awards last night wearing a see through silver gown and pasties over her lady bits. 

- Two boobs haven't hit the stage that fast since Adam Sandler and Carrot Top went on tour together. 

*****

After 146 years, Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus has folded up it's tents after giving it's final performance over the weekend. 

- Lucky for them, all of the clowns have already landed jobs in Washington, D.C. 

- In a related story, Uber just introduced a fleet of miniature cars that can carry up to 20 people at once. 

*****

Anthony Weiner broke down in tears in a NYC courtroom after pleading guilty to sexting a minor. 

- But he cheered right up after texting the court reporter a selfie of "Defense Exhibit A"

Meanwhile his wife Huma Abedin has filed for divorce. 

- It's about time. She must be a charter member of The Procrastinator's Club. 

*****

Nathan's has recalled 200,000 pounds of packaged hot dogs after bits of metal were found in the franks. 

- To be honest, the bits of metal are the healthiest ingredients in them. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Congratulations to the legendary American Coney Island at the corner of Michigan and Lafayette downtown, celebrating their 100th Birthday today! One of the scenes in the hour long "Dick Purtan Comedy Special" on Channel 4 back in the 80's was shot there. It was one of my favorite parts of the show... mainly because we got FREE coneys after the shoot! To this day, people still argue about which of the two side-by-side Coney's Islands, The American or The Lafayette is the best. To be honest... I never could tell the difference! 

*****

Financial experts are predicting that the end of shopping malls is near because of the increasing popularity of online shopping. 

- As proof they claim more and more Americans are referring to their kitchen's as "the food court". 

*****

Supermodel Giselle Bunchen said her husband Tom Brady gets concussions "Like all the time", adding "I mean I’m planning on having him be healthy and do a lot of fun things when we’re like 100, I hope."

- The way Giselle talks, I'm thinking like maybe she's had like a concussion or two herself. 

*****

United Airlines charged a soldier $200 for an overweight Military Duffel Bag as he was trying to fly home after serving 21 months in Afghanistan. 

- At this point United should just change their name to something more popular... like "Malaysia Air". 

*****

Police are searching for a Pizza Hut Supervisor who fled after pepper-spraying a female employee during a disagreement about where to put the pepperoni and cheese on a pizza. 

- And that, ladies and gentlemen is a little "Slice of Life" story for today. 

*****

A Girl Scout Troop leader in Kentucky is under arrest for stealing more than 6000 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. 

- Her attorney said she only planned to take one box... but then wanted S'more. 

- On the bright side, she can now add a Police Badge to her green sash! 

*****

Willie Nelson worried fans when he walked off stage during the middle of a concert this week, returning 20 minutes later appearing "dazed and disoriented". 

- How could they tell??? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick

A new study found that women looking for long term relationships find men with beards the most desirable because facial hair indicates a man's ability to compete for resources. 

- As long as those resources don't include a razor and some shaving cream. 

- This explains why so many women think David Letterman's post-Late-Show beard is so HOT! 

*****

The NY Times claims there's a memo written by James Comey that says President Trump asked him to stop investigating some of the allegations of his staff's ties to Russia, but no one has seen the memo. 

- Either the Times lost it... or they're still writing it. 

*****

Vladimir Putin says he has "proof" that President Trump DIDN'T reveal any state secrets in a meeting with Russian officials... in the form of a written transcript of the meeting. 

- True? If you can't believe ol' Vlad, who can you believe? 

*****

Two friends of former Prez Obama told People Magazine that he told them Donald Trump is "Nothing but a Bullsh--er". 

- But he added "If you like your President who is nothing but a Bullsh--er, you can keep your President who is nothing but a Bullsh--er". 

*****

A study in the BMJ Medical Journal found that eating red meat increases your chances of dying from 9 different diseases. 

- Of course if you become a Vegan, you'll die of loneliness. 

*****

A man in Austin, Texas is suing a woman for $17.31, the price he paid for her ticket to "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" in 3D because she texted during the film and ruined their first date. 

- If he took her to a 3D Sci-Fi flick, I'm guessing it wasn't just THEIR first date, but HIS first date Ever. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day! We Purtan's celebrated all of the Mom's in our immediate family (all 6 of them) with a small gathering - if you call 21 people "small" with dozens of balloons and bouquets, and enough desserts to keep me on the treadmill from now until Christmas.  

Since we were off yesterday, I thought today I'd put up one of my favorite pictures of my wife Gail taken a few years ago (LOL). At the time it was taken, in Hawaii, she'd already given birth to all SIX of our daughters - then ages 4 to 18. Overall, I think I made a pretty good choice!!

*****

Kim Jong Un spent Mother's Day Weekend launching a test missile that came within 60 miles of hitting Russia. 

- Most people who wanted to send a card to "Mother Russia" just popped it in the mail. 

*****

In an effort to win back lost customers, McDonald's is spending millions to upgrade their restaurants to reflect the companies new "Experience of the Future" theme. 

- Of course if you eat at McDonald's too often, you won't have much of a Future to Experience. 

*****

A new scientific report claims that by 2030, the majority of Americans won't own a car, but will use "on-demand" transportation owned by someone else.  

- So basically it'll be like we're all 15 again. 

*****

Vladimir Putin says Russia had nothing to do with a major "Ransomware" attack that's affecting computers across the globe, and blames the U.S. Government for the Hack. 

- Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a Black Russian.  

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

Welcome to Mother's Day Weekend and Podcast #217! Today Jackie (a Mother herself) and I (her Father) sit down at the Purtan Family Dining Room Table to discuss a "Mother Lode" of topics. From the Craziness in our nation's Capitol to why Hollywood's most famous actor NEVER saw any of his own movies. 

Then we get a surprise visit from another one of my Daughter's, Jill, (also a Mother) who attempts to explain to me how "Facebook Live" works - and how we could use it for our Podcasts - so you could see us in addition to listening. The result? Well, we may have a bit of a Mother's Day surprise for you on Facebook this Sunday. Stay tuned! 

Then I reveal the ancestral & genetic results of the "23 & Me" DNA test that my wife Gail and I recently took. (Apparently there's a reason I always hand the Pickle Jar to her when I can't open it). 

So as you prepare to celebrate Mom, take a break to listen to a Dad and two Daughter's as we present Podcast #217. 

Have a great Mother's Day and I'll see you back here Monday (and maybe even on Sunday!) 

-Dick

Dems are saying Trump fired Comey over the Russia Investigation, but the W.H. claims Trump axed him because "there was something wrong with him". 

- The last time a President took this much heat over a Pink Slip was when Hillary found out Bill sent Monica one from Victoria Secret. 

*****

Meanwhile the NY Times says, Comey had called the president “outside the realm of normal" and was expanding the investigation into Trump's alleged ties with Russia. 

- Trump tweeted, "Am I involved with the Russians??? For the last time... NYET!!!" 

*****

North Korea claims they have foiled a plot by the CIA to kill Kim Jong Un and have vowed to "Mercilessly wipe out the terrorist maniacs". 

- Sounds like something Trump said about Comey... or vice versa. 

*****

Amazon's new Echo device has video capabilities that can look at your outfits and tell you what to wear. 

- Just don't use the "Husband" feature and ask it if your butt looks big in those jeans. 

*****

A British Study found that Sunday morning is the most popular day of of the week for couples to have sex. 

- Which explains why Mother's and Father's Days are always celebrated on Sundays. 

*****

According to a new poll, 53% of Canadians have a "somewhat" or "very unfavorable" view of Americans. 

- Don't be too upset, that only comes out to about 10 people. 

*****

Speaking of Canucks... Several Toronto coffee shops have nixed their free WiFi so customers will actually talk to each other. 

- The most popular topic so far has been, "American's are hosers, eh?"

*****

ABC announced that the Fictional White House Drama "Scandal" will be cancelled after the upcoming 7th season. 

- Apparently there's too much competition from the Real White House these days. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

The Media is going crazy after President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey yesterday. 

- Trump will pick the new director on a new show "FBI Apprentice". 

*****

One of the theories for the firing is that Comey "grossly overstated" the amount of classified emails that Huma Abedin sent to her husband Anthony Weiner's laptop. 

- But everyone agrees that Weiner sent the same number of pics of his "laptop" to women around the country. 

*****

Facebook was briefly down for 10 minutes in several countries yesterday. 

- And for those ten minutes, millions of  people had no idea what was going on in the News. 

*****

Richard Simmons has filed a lawsuit against the National Enquirer for claiming he's transitioning to a woman. He wants $10,000.

- Which is exactly what his plastic surgeon supposedly charges for breast implants. 

- Personally I always thought he was part-woman anyway. 

*****

Inmates at a prison in Chicago can now order a piping hot pizza directly to their cells... the pies are made by other inmates involved in a learn-to-cook program. 

- The most popular pizza is the "Cheese, Sausage & Shiv" special. 

*****

Madonna has posted a pair of topless selfies on Instagram. 

- Like we haven't seen those before. 

- She's now the front-runner for this year's SAG Awards. 

*****

A Nurse from Kansas City who suffers from an Overactive Bladder claims she was forced to relieve herself in a cup when United Airlines flight attendants wouldn't let her use the bathroom because the seat belt sign was on. 

- Apparently this is United's attempt to become the #1 Airline in the country again. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick

It's official! MSNBC's "Morning Joe" co-hosts, Republican Joe Scarborough and Democrat Mika Brzezinski, are engaged to be married. 

- If Bill O'Reilly had just Proposed to the women who are suing him, he could have claimed "Spousal Privilege".

*****

Buckingham Palace announced that Queen Elizabeth's husband, 95 year old Prince Phillip, will stop attending official Royal functions in the fall. 

- I guess it's time for us to wave him goodbye. But for the first time in 70 years, he won't wave back. 

- He'll probably spend his retirement sitting around the Palace in his underwear eating Crumpets and ordering stuff online.  

*****

A man in Oregon was arrested for trying to have sex with a Chicken. 

- He told the police he was "just kidding"... but cops said his "joke laid an egg". 

- Now we know why the chicken crossed the road. To get away from this whack job. 

*****

McDonald's unveiled a new utensil called the Frock, which is designed to pick up toppings that fall off your burger. 

- What? You can't do the same thing with a Spork? 

*****

A new Harris Poll found that more people are stressed and tense because of Political talk at work, than before the Election, by a margin of 26% to 17%. 

- And that's just at the White House. 

*****

In his new book about Barack Obama, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist David Garrow, says Obama did a lot of Cocaine is his 20's and "flirted" with the idea of being Gay.  

- We've come a long way since Bill Clinton "Didn't Inhale". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick