With the demise of the Hostess company, single boxes of Twinkies are selling on eBay for hundreds of dollars.
- HoHo’s are selling for a lot less on Eight Mile.
- Without Twinkies, our family is going with Pumpkin Pie this Thanksgiving.
- Fortunately, Pop-Tarts have survived!
Triple A reports that 40 million Americans will drive at least 50 miles to attend Thanksgiving dinner this year.
- Anything to get away from the family.
- You’ll end up driving about 400 miles if you get directions from MapQuest or the new iPhone 5.
- Lance Armstrong will ride his bike 50 miles just to get the doping effect of the Turkey’s triptophan.
Senator Diane Feinstein said she can’t help thinking that David Petraeus lost control because he quit being a General and took off his medals.
- Could also be because he took off his pants.
- Under Feinstein’s theory, women are attracted to a man in uniform and men out of uniform are attracted to women.
Justin Bieber was the big winner at last night’s American Music Awards taking home three trophies, including one for “Artist of the Year”. Since his recent break-up with Selena Gomez, he brought his mom as his date.
- Which worked out great because it coincided with his school’s Mommy-Son Dinner Dance.
Kim Kardashian has sent out of tweet of her butt.
- She said it was a mistake… She meant to use that picture on the front of her Christmas cards.
- So Linsday Lohan isn’t the only “celebrity” who likes to rear-end people.
- It’s all part of Kim’s plan to launch a new social network, “Buttbook”.
The US Olympic women’s gymnastic team visited President Obama at the White House Saturday.
- They were there to teach him some new “positions” to take on Libya.
A new study says that teens with Smartphones are 1.5 times more likely to be sexually active.
- With one hand.
- And the ones who use protectection tend to carry “Really Smartphones”.
On this day in 1863 President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysberg Address.
Btw… Saw “Lincoln” (Steven Spielberg’s new movie) over the weekend. Fabulous! Daniel-Day Lewis was terrific!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!
-Dick
Sonny Eliot (with Ernie Harwell seated, on the right), when the 3 of us were among those honored at the Detroit Historical Museum.Sonny Eliot passed away this morning, he was 91. Sonny was much more than a funny TV Weatherman. He was a man of many unique talents, and was even a World War II Hero. The B-24 bomber that he was piloting over Germany was shot down and he was captured and spent 14 months in the Stalag 1 POW Camp, all the while hiding his Jewish heritage from the Nazis.
There were countless dinners and appearances that Sonny and I both attended where I would tell everyone the story of how he’d been shot down. Only I would change the year to 1975 and say it happened while Sonny was on vacation.
When I first came to Detroit in the mid-60’s to work at WKNR - Keener 13 - Sonny invited me and Howie Young, a player with the Red Wings, to lunch downtown at the Lindell AC followed by a matinee at the Empress Burlesque. We sat in the front row for an afternoon of comedians and girls with tassles. The “featured entertainer” seemed to direct her entire “act” to Howie, who was a very good looking guy. The male comedians played to Sonny and me. Go figure.
Sonny and I were together a number of times over the years…but for some reason, that memory is the one that really sticks with me.
The two Grand Old Men of Detroit Media are gone now (and yes…that’s Ernie Harwell sitting in the front row behind Sonny in the photo). There’ll never be any others like them.
We recorded my latest Podcast (#64) on Thursday evening, before Sonny passed away. Obviously, that is why he’s not mentioned! But Jackie and I do talk about just about everything else under the Sun… From the bizarre twists and turns of the Petraeus Sex Scandal (which could very well lead to a new soap opera “Generals’ Hospital”) to People Magazine’s pick for the Sexiest Man Alive for 2012 (surprisingly NOT General Petraeus).
And with the military front and center this week, I take the opportunity to share my personal stories of the eight years I spent on Active Duty and in the Army Reserve.
We also touch on the demise of the Twinkie, Donald Trump (which strikes me as repetitive), and the tragic break-up of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. Plus… get ready to hit your “Like” button! Pope Benedict has announced that he’s launching a private Facebook page. (The only problem is, his profile picture is going to cut off the top of his hat!) We’ve got the 411 on the Pontiff - and we debate a new study that says human beings are becoming “less smart”. (Two words: The Kardashians).
So put down your copy of General Petraeus’s biography “All In” and “Tune In” to Podcast #64.
Have a great weekend!
-Dick
Podcast Podcast #64: “”Generals” And “Privates” Gone Wild! (28:27)
Kudos to Tiger’s Pitcher Justin Verlander who came within one vote of winning his second straight Cy Young award. He lost out to the Ray’s David Price in what was the closest vote since Denny McClain tied for the award back in ‘68.
On the first day back to work, Congress argued over the legality of bring polar bear carcasses from Canada into the U.S.
- Good to see that Congress is back working and voting on critical national issues.
- Nancy Pelosi started the session by assuring everyone that mental health treatment for Bi-polar bears would be covered under Obamacare.
At a rare press conference Wednesday, President Obama said he sent UN Ambassador Susan Rice out on TV to claim the Libyan consulate attack started over a YouTube video because that’s was the “best intellegence the White House had at the time.”
- The info came from a “temp” General Petraeus hired to cover for him while he was in a hot tub with Paula Broadwell.
- If I’m not mistaken, the “temp” was a Kelly girl.
Firearms deer season started Wednesday.
- So right now there are thousands of men dressed in camouflage hiding out in the woods…and I’m not talkin’ about Generals Petraeus and Allen.
Donald Trump is rumored to be appearing in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
- Officials have ordered extra strong tethers to make sure his giant ego doesn’t break free and knock down any lightposts.
The Postal Service is looking for a way to speed up mail delivery.
- I believe we already have that…it’s called “email”.
An ex-California teacher is suing her former district, claiming her boss told her to “train her breasts not to produce milk” during school hours.
- The principal had no comment other than saying “they’re real and they’re spectacular!”
- Her idiot boss was obviously a bottle-fed baby.
On this day in 1492 Christopher Columbus made the first written reference to tobacco after seeing a group of Indians smoking.
- The Indians were on break from their jobs at the “Jamestown Casino”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast! (#64)
-Dick
New details in the General Petraeus Sex Scandal are surfacing faster than Shamu during the Friday Fish Fry at SeaWorld.
I’ve posted a flow chart to help you keep track of the players (and I do mean players!)
In the meantime… General Petraeus annouced this morning that he will voluntarily testify at the hearings about the events in Benghazi.
- At this point he’ll agree to do anything that will get him away from his wife for a few hours.
*****
Petraeus could face criminal charges for sharing classified information with his biographer/mistress Paula Broadwell.
- You say “Classified Information” he says “Pillow Talk”.
- See ladies! This explains why men never want to talk after sex when you say, “What are you thinkin’ about?”.
*****
The Petraeus Plot has gotten even thicker after it was revealed that the FBI agent who investigated Jill Kelly’s claim that she was receiving threatening emails from Paula Broadwell, had previously sent Kelly topless photos of himself.
- Am I the last one to know that Anthony Weiner is working for the FBI?
*****
Meanwhile… the investigation into Marine General John Allen, who took over command of the troops in Afghanistan when Petraeus left to head the CIA, is still under investigation for enchanging thousands of pages of “innapropriate” emails with Jill Kelly - the one who exposed Petraeus’ affair with Broadwell.
- I had no idea our Generals were so interested in Privates!
*****
The 23-year-old man who accused Kevin Clash…aka… “Elmo” from Sesame Street of having a sexual relationship with him when he was underage has retracted his accusations. He now says he was of age when it began and it was a relationship between two consenting adults.
- And one fuzzy, red puppet.
- Bert & Ernie are said to be a little dissappointed that Clash, who is openly gay, never even made a pass at them.
*****
On this day in 1908 Albert Einstein presented his Quantum Theory of Light.
- If he’d wanted people to actually read it, he should have named it his “Quantum Theory of Fifty Shades of Light Grey”.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
A former spokesman for General David Petraeus described his wife Holly Petraeus’ reaction to his affair by saying, “Furious would be an understatement”.
- Congress has dubbed the scandal “Fast & REALLY Furious”.
The current American Commander in Afghanistan, Marine Corps General John Allen is now being accused of sending 20 to 30 thousand pages of “inappropriate” emails to Jill Kelly. Remember, she’s the girl in Tampa who received threatening emails from General Patraeus’ girlfriend, Paula Broadwell.
- Kelly looks like a Kardashian and this whole thing sounds like an episode of “The Real Housewives of Tampa, Florida”.
- Sounds like John Allen wanted to “Tampa” with Mrs. Kelly.
- Wouldn’t you think the top guys in the Military would have figured out an “Exit Strategy”!