Sesame Workshop demanded that the Obama campaign remove the image of Big Bird from their latest anti-Romney attack ad.
- If they want to hire a bird to do their talking, they should go with a parrot.
- Meanwhile Bert & Ernie are planning a pro-Obama ad thanking him for his support of gay marriage.
Mitt Romney is being criticized for backing out of a Nickelodeon kids question and answer session.
- He was afraid they would dump that green goop on him and mess up his hair.
- His campaign staff denied rumors that Mitt cancelled because he believes Dora the Explorer and her cousin Diego are illegal immigrants.
Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to 30-60 years in prison.
- Or as I like to call it “Not nearly long enough”.
- His wife Dottie still thinks he’s downstairs in the basement watching TV.
Tim Robbins is teaching acting to inmates at a California prison.
- Is it really a good idea to let the guy who figured out how to break out of prison in the “Shawshank Redemption” teach an acting class to criminals?
QVC guest host Cassie Laner fainted on live TV and fell into the arms of her male co-host, who just kept right on with his sales pitch and never missed a beat.
- He even sold the necklace and earrings she was wearing!
- As an added bonus…she won’t have to pay for the ambulance ride to the hospital because QVC offers FREE shipping!
The woman in the Hulk Hogan sex tape says that she’s embarassed by the whole thing.
- Apparently the Hulk wasn’t so “Incredible”.
On this day in 1966 the game of Twister was invented…
- …by a group of out-of-work chiropractors.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
Tigers will try and make it 3-0 tonight in their third game against the A’s in Oakland. Game 9:07pm Detroit time. Go Tigers!
Detroit Police Chief Ralph Godbee announced his retirement after being accused - for the second time in two years - of having a sexual relationship with a subordinate. In the latest scandal, he allegedly rewarded the female officer with a promotion to the internal affairs department.
- Well if anyone knows about the “internal affairs department” it’s Ralph Godbee.
- Godbee says he plans to go into the insurance business and offer women his special “retirement package”.
American Airlines claims that a combination of poor design along with spilled coffee and pop is what’s causing seats on its planes to come loose during the flight.
- Call me crazy but I’ve always thought it was the passengers that became jittery, not the seats.
A top court has ruled that a sexless marriage constitutes cruelty and is grounds for divorce.
- Who knew the seven-times divorced Larry King wasn’t really the stud he appeared to be on TV.
Al Qaeda is being blamed for several forest fires aound Europe.
- Good to see they’re branching out in new directions.
- Apparently the terrorists were told that if they set the fires, when they die, they’ll get 72 sapplings.
One week after Justin Bieber vomited on stage in Arizona, Lada Gaga vomited on stage in Spain.
- They’ve decided to tour together in a show being billed as “Puke-a-Palooza”.
Hollywood was stunned Monday at news that Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have split up after 30 years of marriage.
- Rhea claims she was tired of getting “the short end of the stick”.
- It’s all about respect…they both want to find somebody they can look up to.
On this day in 1872 Aaron Montgomery began the mail-order business.
- The next day, stock in “plain brown wrapping paper” went through the roof.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
Go Tigers!
-Dick
Tigers up 2 games to zip against the Oakland A’s in the first round of the play-offs! Next game: Tuesday, 9:07pm our time, in Oakland… Go Tigers!
At least the Lions didn’t lose! (It was a bye week.)
Vice President Joe Biden has taken a week off campaigning to prepare for his debate with Republican Veep Candidate Paul Ryan.
- While he’s practicing, the Obama campaign is desparately trying to get the debate changed to a “silence contest”.
New information from NASA’s Voyager 1 indicates that the spacecraft may have exited the Solar System.
- It’s nice to know even rocket scientists can get screwed over by using MapQuest. (Or maybe it was the new iPhone 5 Map App!)
Reviews of exercise programs show that they don’t work for a lot of kids.
- In response to the news the kids said, “It’s not our fault… we can’t find the power button!”
Research has found that most sexually active teens first had sex in their parents’ home.
- Whatever happened to the good old days when sexually active teens first had sex in their parents’s car?