Penn State has banned the Neil Diamond classic “Sweet Caroline” from school events, presumeably because of the lines, “touching me/touching you”.
- Instead they’ll encourage football fans in the stadium to sing M.C. Hammer’s hit “You Can’t Touch This”.
An auction next month in England will offer Elvis Presley’s personal home movies, his family Bible and a pair of underpants he wore, but have never been washed.
- Wow! The chance to own something that was around the King’s ankles when he sat on the throne!
- If only Michael Jackson was still alive… He’d buy the underpants and use them as a giant hammock!
Lindsay Lohan was told that she’s no longer welcome at the Chateau Marmont Hotel after she reportedly failed to pay a $46,000 hotel bill that she accrued over a several-month stay there this summer.
- And that was just the charge for the mini-bar.
- In her defense, Linsday honestly doesn’t remember ever staying at the hotel.
Madonna was booed wildly when she took to the stage two-and-a-half hours late for a concert in Philadelphia.
- Who does she think she is? Madonna?
- She was late because she was bidding on Elvis’s underpants she wanted to wear on stage that night.
The oldest living woman, Besse Cooper, turned 116 this week.
- Which means that one week from now, we’ll be reading that the world’s oldest woman, Besse Cooper, has died at the age of 116.
On this day in 30 B.C. Egyptian Queen Cleopatra killed herself by allowing a deadly snake to bite her.
- She misunderstood her doctor when he said “Take two asp-pirin and call me in the morning”.
Have a great day… and don’t forget that you’ve only got until tomorrow - Friday, Aug. 31st, to cast your vote in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! $40,000 will be given away! To view the ten finalists and make your voice heard… just click on any one of the SC ads on this page!
See you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!
-Dick
The Republican National Convention kicked off in Tampa last night with a widely praised speech by Mitt Romney’s wife Ann, and the keynote speech given by NJ Governor Chris Christie.
- Christie’s speech ran longer than the time he’d been alloted… because he took a few “snack breaks”.
Rumors are running rampant that there is actually a video of Prince Harry frolicking naked with women at the much ballyhooed “Strip Billards” game in his Las Vegas hotel suite. While no one in the press has seen the footage… it’s supposed to be pretty explicit.
- Actually it’s not so much “footage” as it is “inch-age”.
- If released, the movie will be called “Harry’s Potted and His Magic Wand!”
A soon to be released book about the Navy Seal raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound, written by one of the SEALS who was there, has passed 50 Shades of Grey as the #1 book on Amazon.com.
- Actually Bin Laden was about 50 Shades of Grey when they dumped him in the Indian Ocean.
A new trend in wedding planning is to have a photographer go to the hotel and take “morning after” pictures of the bride and groom in bed.
- The stars in Hollywood bypass all of that by making sex tapes of the night before.
- Anyone who’s seen the famous “John & Yoko” Naked Bed Pictures should know this is a baaaad idea!
At 101-years-old, Florence Detlor is Facebook’s oldest registered user.
- At 101, she hasn’t got any friends left to “unfriend”.
On this day in 1758 the very first American Indian reservation was established in New Jersey.
- Tonto lived there and when he greeted guests, instead of saying “How”, he said “How you doin’?”
And no matter what you’re doin’ today… take a minute to cast your vote in the final round of the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! 10 local charities will share $40,000! To view the finalists and cast your vote, just click on any one of the SC ads on this page — but hurry! VOTING ENDS THIS FRIDAY!!!
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick
A new poll reveals that millions of people still don’t believe that Neil Armstrong or anyone else ever walked on the moon.
- With the possible exception of Michael Jackson.
- But millions of Democrats believe that Barack Obama can walk on water.
There’s a free iPhone app that tells you when political ads are lying.
- It’s called the “That’s a Load of Crap App”.
- You can download it, or just ask a member of the opposite party.
Forbes named Oprah Winfrey as the highest-paid person in show business for the fourth year in a row, even after she gave up her hit syndicated show.
- All that money and she still can’t get anyone to tune in to her OWN network!
- In a related story, being the highest-paid person in show business for the fourth year in a row is one of Oprah’s “Favorite Things!”
As the “Naked Prince Harry Scandal” continues to rock the Royal Family, a group of fellow soldiers and friends have gotten together and posted pictures of themselves on Facebook in a show of support.
- Who knew there were so many “Privates” in the British Army!
A 44-year-old man in Montana was struck and killed by motorists after dressing in a “Big Foot” Costume and trying to convince drivers that he was indeed the mythical “Sasquatch”.
- Police believe alcohol may have been involved — not with the drivers, with the guy wearing the Big Foot Suit.
- To add insult to injury, turns out people just thought he was a really hairy hitchhiker.
McDonald’s is testing a mobile payment app that would allow you to pay for your order simply by flashing your Smartphone over the bill.
- So you can get all that healthy food into your body even faster… it’s called the iFat.
To encourage better health, Boston Market is removing salt shakers from the tables and putting them with the napkins, cutlery and other serve-yourself items.
- Customers were so mad when they heard, they’re blood pressure really shot up.
On this day in 1996 the 15-year marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana officially ended in divorce.
- By that time they’d already had William, “The Heir”, and Harry “The Naked Spare”.
Have a great day and don’t forget that final voting in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway” ends this Friday, Aug. 31st! Ten local charities will share a total of $40,000! To see a list of the finalists and cast your vote, just click on any one of the SC ads on this page!
See you back here Wednesday!
-Dick