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Osama Bin Laden More Popular Than Sex?

A soon to be released book about the Navy Seal raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound, written by one of the SEALS who was there, has passed 50 Shades of Grey as the #1 book on Amazon.com. 

- Actually Bin Laden was about 50 Shades of Grey when they dumped him in the Indian Ocean. 

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Your Parents Will Kill For An 8"x10"!

A new trend in wedding planning is to have a photographer go to the hotel and take “morning after” pictures of the bride and groom in bed.

- The stars in Hollywood bypass all of that by making sex tapes of the night before.

- Anyone who’s seen the famous “John & Yoko” Naked Bed Pictures should know this is a baaaad idea!

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Today's Almanac

On this day in 1758 the very first American Indian reservation was established in New Jersey. 

- Tonto lived there and when he greeted guests, instead of saying “How”, he said “How you doin’?”

 

And no matter what you’re doin’ today… take a minute to cast your vote in the final round of the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway”! 10 local charities will share $40,000! To view the finalists and cast your vote, just click on any one of the SC ads on this page — but hurry! VOTING ENDS THIS FRIDAY!!!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

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To The Moon Alice?

A new poll reveals that millions of people still don’t believe that Neil Armstrong or anyone else ever walked on the moon. 

- With the possible exception of Michael Jackson. 

 

 

 

- But millions of Democrats believe that Barack Obama can walk on water. 

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"Liar, Liar, My Phones On Fire!"

There’s a free iPhone app that tells you when political ads are lying. 

- It’s called the “That’s a Load of Crap App”. 

- You can download it, or just ask a member of the opposite party. 

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Oprah Still OWNs "World's Highest Paid Celeb" Title!

Forbes named Oprah Winfrey as the highest-paid person in show business for the fourth year in a row, even after she gave up her hit syndicated show.

- All that money and she still can’t get anyone to tune in to her OWN network!

- In a related story, being the highest-paid person in show business for the fourth year in a row is one of Oprah’s “Favorite Things!”

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British Army "Stands At Attention" For Prince Harry...

As the “Naked Prince Harry Scandal” continues to rock the Royal Family, a group of fellow soldiers and friends have gotten together and posted pictures of themselves on Facebook in a show of support. 

- Who knew there were so many “Privates” in the British Army! 

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What Could Possibly Go Wrong???

A 44-year-old man in Montana was struck and killed by motorists after dressing in a “Big Foot” Costume and trying to convince drivers that he was indeed the mythical “Sasquatch”. 

- Police believe alcohol may have been involved — not with the drivers, with the guy wearing the Big Foot Suit. 

 

 

- To add insult to injury, turns out people just thought he was a really hairy hitchhiker. 

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McDonald's Introduces New App-itizer!

McDonald’s is testing a mobile payment app that would allow you to pay for your order simply by flashing your Smartphone over the bill. 

- So you can get all that healthy food into your body even faster… it’s called the iFat. 

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Boston Market Shakes Up Salt Policy...

To encourage better health, Boston Market is removing salt shakers from the tables and putting them with the napkins, cutlery and other serve-yourself items.

- Customers were so mad when they heard, they’re blood pressure really shot up. 

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Today's Almanac

On this day in 1996 the 15-year marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana officially ended in divorce. 

- By that time they’d already had William, “The Heir”, and Harry “The Naked Spare”. 

 

Have a great day and don’t forget that final voting in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway” ends this Friday, Aug. 31st! Ten local charities will share a total of $40,000! To see a list of the finalists and cast your vote, just click on any one of the SC ads on this page! 

See you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

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Hot Air In Tampa Before Convention Even Begins!

Due to the threat from Hurricane Issac, the Republican National Convention in Tampa has cancelled all speeches for tonight. 

 

 

- The Republicans are blaming the hurricane on “An Act of God” and the Democrats are blaming it on George W. Bush. 

The Democrats also canceled plans to send Joe Biden to Tampa to offer commentary on the GOP convention. 

- He was set to go but then Obama “chained” him to his desk. 

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Prince Harry's Royal Scepter Just The Beginning???

An unidentified source says that the naked pictures of Prince Harry taken during a game of Strip Billiard’s in his Las Vegas Hotel Suite last week are just the tip of the iceberg. They say something much bigger is about to come out. 

- Let’s hope it’s not new pictures of Prince Harry after he took that “Male Enhancement” pill he bought at the hotel pharmacy. 

- I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s not a picture of a topless Camilla jumping out of a cake! 

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Randy Travis Comes "This Close" To Finding God...

Country singer Randy Travis is in hot water again. He was arrested for assault for fighting with another man in a church parking lot in Plano, Texas early Sunday morning. 

 

 

- On the bright side, at least he wasn’t naked this time. 

- One more fight and arrest, and he’s finally got the lyrics for his next country song! 

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"Count von Count" Down For The Count...

Jerry Nelson, the Muppets puppeteer who played Count von Count on “Sesame Street” has died at the age of 78. 

- And to think the two old guys in the balcony are still hanging on. 

- His funeral will be brought to you by the letters D, E, A & D. 

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RIP...

Neil Armstrong, the Commander of the Apollo 11 mission, the first man to walk on the moon, and a true American hero, died over the weekend at age 82. 

- I know he’s up there somewhere smiling down on us… then again, he’s done that before. 

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Today's Almanac

On this day in 1896 Zanzibar lost to England in a 38-minute war. It lasted from 9:02 to 9:40am. 

- Randy Travis has had fist fights in Church parking lots that lasted longer than that! 

Have a great day and don’t forget that 2nd Round voting the in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway” starts today and runs thru 5pm this Friday, Aug. 31st. The Top 10 charities from the 1st Round voting have been selected! Check them out now by clicking on any one of the SC ads on this page and vote for your favorite! $40,000 will be given away! 

See you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

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Guess What 10-Year-Old Is The New Star At Comerica Park?

It’s Friday… Alas, the last one before Labor Day Weekend and the unofficial “End of Summer”. So in lieu of a Podcast, I thought I’d post something today that was shown last Wednesday night on the Jumbotron as the “Boys of Summer” played at Comerica Park. 

It’s one of a series of commercials that Jackie and I did for Children’s Hospital… that wonderful place that saved her life when she was a kid. We are so lucky to have this amazing Hospital in our community… and I encourage you to support it. It’s not someplace that you ever want to have to go to… but if you ever do, you’ll be more than thankful that it’s there. 

Meanwhile… Look for a special “Guest Star” at the end of the video. That’s Jackie’s 10-year-old son (aka my nephew, uh, grandson) Charlie. 

Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here on Monday! 

-Dick 

And just a quick reminder… Round One voting in the Suburban Collection’s “Great Charity Giveaway” ends TODAY at 5pm! To help your favorite local charity get their share of $40,000… just click on any SC ad on this page and make your vote count! 

 

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