We have four July Birthdays in the family (mine, my daughter Jessica, and both of her sons Preston and Jack) and we celebrate them all in one fell swoop! Sometimes we even celebrate them all in “one swell foop” which we did Sunday. We figured it had finally cooled off enough to put candles on the cake so we had the whole family over for a big party! There was a new guest this year… my daughter Julie and her husband Brad’s 5 1/2 month-old son Brayden. Pretty cute kid, huh?
A new study says that more doctors are falling asleep on the job these days.
- They’re falling asleep while reading the Obamacare bill trying to figure out how much their going to get paid.
- So now having “good bedside manner” just means your doc stays awake during your exam.
NASA released a high resolution photo of Mars taken by the Mars Exploration Rover “Opportunity”.
- It’s so crystal-clear you can actually see the swimming pool in Tom Cruise’s backyard!
- We can only hope they don’t release any high resolution photos of Uranus.
The annual “Running of the Bulls” kicked off in Pamplona, Spain this weekend. So far, three people have been gored.
- In honor of the event, the US Presidential Race had now been renamed “The Running of The Bull”.
A zoo in Indonesia is trying to help a monkey quit smoking after 10 years.
- Talk about trying to get a monkey off your back!
- He’d walk a mile for a camel, but they don’t have any camels at the Indonesian zoo.
Ernest Borgnine passed away over the weekend at the age of 95. He was the star of McCale’s Navy, played “Fatso” who beat up Frank Sinatra in “From Here To Eternity” and won an Oscar for playing the title role in “Marty”. Borgnine was married five times, including once to Ethel Merman, which lasted one month.
- He couldn’t stand the screaming.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!
-Dick
P.S. Sorry about lack of pix today… system malfunction!
For today’s Post-4th-of-July Pre-My-Birthday Podcast, Jackie and I are joined by former “Purtan’s Person” Jim Ochs for a riveting discussion about everything from the proposed “Zombie Theme Park” in Detroit, to the Higgs Boson “God Particle”, to Talkiing Urinal Cakes. And speaking of bathrooms - the three of us ponder the all important question: Now that Obamacare has been declared a “Tax”, will IRS agents be giving rectal exams? (Then again… haven’t they always???) So pour yourself something cold and… bottoms up!
Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday with the blog!
-Dick
Purtan Podcast #49 (37:29)
Happy 4th of July! We’re taking tomorrow off… but will be back Friday with a new Podcast! For now, I hope you enjoy some great Patriotic American music!
Have a great Holiday and God Bless America!
-Dick
CNN’s Anderson Cooper, host of “Anderson Cooper 360” has announced that he is gay, after years of refusing to discuss his sexuality.
- Boy he really did a 180 on that one.
- In a related story, after years of speculation, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer has announced that he is boring.
A smiling, soon-to-be-divorced Katie Holmes was seen waltzing around NYC after filing for divorce from actor Tom Cruise. Meanwhile Tom is said to be “reeling” from the news.
- Luckily he’s got a lot of supportive, robotic friends to help him cope.
- Look for all the details of their marriage in Katie’s upcoming memoir, “Scien-Tell-All-Ogy”!
A survey of employers in the US and Europe found that over 70% of bosses don’t really care if an employee is up to 30 minutes late.
- It’s not that they don’t care, they just don’t know since the bosses usually stroll in just before lunch.
- The exception is Domino’s Pizza where you have to deliver yourself to work within 30 minutes or less of your start time or your FREE… to get another job.
Fisher Price has announced the release of a children’s board game combining the levels of “Hindu consciousness” with daily chores for toddlers.
- This sounds even more fun that their last product, “Teenage Mutant Buddhist Turtles”.
- Up next: A game for Taliban Toddlers called “Shoots and Ladders”.
Some TSA workers in Newark were fired for sleeping on the job.
- Passengers complained they weren’t getting the “foreplay” they’ve come to expect and enjoy before boarding the plane.
- For some people, an “Invasive Pat Down” is the closest thing to sex they get!
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is trying to cultivate a new, more positive image by letting his people have previously banned western foods like hamburgers, fries and pizza.
- Most popular so far? The “Puppy-roni Pizza”.
- He lets people eat the food, then for dessert, he has them arrested.
- Is it just me or does Kim Jung Un look like he’s been enjoying burgers and fries for years?!
On this day in 1931 President Hoover announced that due to a combination of hot weather and sore fingers, he would wait until September to resume shaking hands.
- Last week the 4 conservative judges on the Supreme Court used the same excuse for not shaking hands with Chief Justice John Roberts.
Have a great day… don’t forget our latest Podcast (#48) on the homepage or iTunes, and I’ll see you back here with some special Patriotic music for the 4th of July!
-Dick
It’s official… Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are calling it quits after five years of marriage. Actually… Katie is the one who pulled the plug and is seeking sole custody of their daughter Suri.
- Katie wants Suri… and Tom wants all of the magic solar powered crystals they got as wedding gifts.
- Tom says he’ll spend some time at his vacation home on Mars to think things over.
- Now Katie’s the one who’s so excited she wants to jump up and down on Oprah’s couch.
54-year-old Actor Alec Balwin married his 28-year-old yoga instructor/girlfriend over the weekend. Among the guests: Robert Kennedy Jr., Woody Allen, and Alec’s 16-year-old daughter Ireland, from his marriage to Kim Bassinger.
- Baldwin and his new wife will honeymoon at his vacation home on Neptune.
- Alec said the bride was beautiful, as was his “rude, thoughtless little pig” of a daughter.
- Ireland’s sixteen… which explains why Woody Allen showed up.
- The ceremony was private, but will be available next week on Hulu.
Due to recent spate of storms, Washington, D.C., could be without power for days.
- Unless the Supreme Courts holds an emergency session and gives them all the power they could ever want!
Doctors in India are studying a man who gets headaches when he watches porn.
- The doctors told him to take two aspirin and call them in the morning with the name of the movie.
- In India this is known as the “Charlie Sheen Syndrome”.
Today is “I Forgot Day”… A day to remember all the Birthdays, Anniversaries and other “Special Days” that you forgot during the year.
- Personally I celebrate this day every year. I’m actually down from “I Forgot Month” so I’m making progress!
Meanwhile, Saturday was “Leap Second Adjustment Day”. To compensate for the Earth’s slowing rotation, a second was added to the atomic clock.
- Which gave Jackie one more second to be depressed that it was her birthday and she was another year older.