Lions 5 & 0... Just Like The Good Old Daze!!!

Congratulations to Coach Jim Schwartz and the Lions who’s 24-13 win over the Bears now puts them at 5 and 0. The last time they started the season with that record was in 1956. To put that in perspective, that’s the same year Little Richard released “Tutti Frutti”, Elvis recorded “Hound Dog” and “Don’t Be Cruel”, John Lennon and Paul McCartney met at a church supper, the Dow hit 500 for the first time, and President Dwight Eisenhower announced that he would run for a second term. Unbelievable!  Lions owner William Clay Ford must have been afraid to go to sleep last night… fearing he’d wake up and find out it was all just a dream!

Meanwhile the Tigers are back home facing a real challenge! After dropping the first two of their seven game series against the Texas Rangers, they have to win 4 of the next 5! Game 3 tonight at Comerica Park… Go Tigers!

"Joe The Plumber" Cracks Into Politics...

Joseph Wurzelbacher, better known as “Joe The Plumber,” became famous in 2008 after he asked Barack Obama a question and Obama replied by defending redistribution of wealth.  Now, he might become more of a thorn in Obama’s side:  Joe the Plumber has filed to run for Congress in Ohio.  

- Joe thought long and hard before deciding to take the plunge. 

- His first campaign rally will take place next Thursday sometime between 1 and 5 pm.

- His campaign theme song is “Tinkle, Tinkle Little Star!” 

Newsflash: Hollywood Officially Runs Out Of Good Ideas

TMZ.com reports that police in Budapest, Hungary, raided a warehouse and confiscted 85 high-powered weapons, including AK-47s and sniper rifles. They were going to be used as props in Brad Pitt’s upcoming zombie movie, “World War Z.” Authorities said some of the guns were loaded with live ammo and hadn’t been properly disabled.  They called it “a disaster waiting to happen”. 

- If they’d used the weapons with live ammo there would have been more Zombies in the movie than they’d planned on.  

How Many Polish Strippers Does It Take To Win An Election?

23-year-old Polish political candidate Katazyna Lenart, of the SLD party, hit on a new way to get attention for her campaign: Stripping.  The attractive brunette released a YouTube video of herself in a conservative suit, which she quickly peels off until she’s down to a pink bra.  When she takes that off, the word “Censored” appears over her breasts, followed by the slogan, “Want more? Vote SLD.  Only we can do more.” 

- A local hooker is running a similar ad for the “STD” party. 

- Katazyna is currently leading in the Gallup and Stripper Poles. 

- SLD is a left wing party.  Although insiders say her “right wing” is just as impressive as the left one. 

They Had A Gut Feeling About This...

According the the new Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, Americans of normal weight out number overweight Americans for the first time in three years, by a margin of 36.6% to 35.8%. However, if you add the overweight to the obese people, they still add up to 61.1% of the population.  

- Which means we have enough contestants to keep “The Biggest Loser” on the air for the next hundred years. 

- They call the big eaters “The Nestle Toll House Morsel Majority”. 

Today's Almanac

On this date in 1975, Bill Clinton married Hillary Rodham.  

- In an unusual move, as part of the wedding agreement, Bill got to select the Bridesmaids.  

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick

It's A Big Day (And Night!) For The D!

It’s a huge day for Detroit sports fans… This afternoon, The Tigers will try to even up their series with the Rangers after yesterday’s cancellation due to rain.  First pitch at 4:19pm on TBS.  Then tonight, our 4-0 Lions will try to make it 5-0 when they host the Chicago Bears on ABC’s Monday Night Football.  This is the Lion’s first appearance in TEN YEARS on MNF so the town will really be hoppin’ tonight!  

Kodak Moments From "The Shield On The Field"...

Thanks to everyone who came out to our Celebrity softball game on Saturday, to kick-off the celebration of the 25th annual Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon coming up in February!  I captained and pitched for the “Red Team” over the Mark Ridley captained “Blue Team”.  We won 20 to 11 in a real pitcher’s duel! Check out the pictures below for some highlights!  

I’m the one with the bat!

This is my famous split-finger spit ball…

Martha Reeves, who sang the National Anthem, Major Mark Anderson of the Salvation Army and an unidentified “celebrity” player.

Former Tiger Ike Blessitt lifting the MVP of the game, with the help of Detroit Lion Hall-of-Famer Lem Barney and Jack Aronson owner of “Garden Fresh Salsa”. (Notice how Lem demonstrates his famous “crotch hold”!)

A shot of my team from the best angle…

Paul McCartney Walks Down "Long And Winding Aisle"

Paul McCartney got married for the third time Sunday, this time to American heiress Nancy Shevell.  It was a modest ceremony at the same London register office where he married his first wife, Linda.  His second marriage, to Heather Mills, was at a lavish ceremoney in Ireland that was estimated to cost $3 million.  Four years later, thier divorce cost Paul another $38 million.  Tabloids claimed that Paul wrote a special song for his new bride and planned to debut it at the reception.  

- It’s titled: “When I’m 84”. 

- The new Mrs. McCartney is a mega-millionaire in her own right, so Paul figures she’s already got a leg up on Heather. 

- Paul is 69, while Nancy is 51.  She registered for china and he registered for Viagra.  

- After an extended honeymoon, Paul plans on a series of concerts he’s dubbed “The Lipi-Tour”.  

- The only other Beatle who’s still alive was part of this ceremony.  He was the “Ringo” bearer.  

They Is Really Good At Math!

Two Americans have been awarded the 2011 Nobel Prize… for Economics.  

- Apparently just beating out two Economists from Greece.  

Today's Almanac... (Sort Of)

We’re celebrating Columbus Day today, even though the officially designated day is October 12th.  It’s also Thanksgiving Day in Canada.  

- Ironically while the Canadians are carving the traditional Canadian Goose… we in the States will be commemorating the day Christopher Columbus goosed Pocahontas! 

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick

Purtan Podcast #12 - TIGERS WIN! Plus A Potpourri Of Info-tainment And A Very Special Pre-Announcement!

It’s Friday… And not just any Friday, the one after the Tiger’s took down the Yankees in a dramatic 3-2 win at Yankee Stadium last night.  Now it’s on to Texas!  Game one Saturday night! 

In today’s Podcast we talk to Tiger Manager Jim Leyland (a la Big Al) along with a full line-up of other big names including the Queen of England, Rush Limbaugh, and even Jack Stewart who shares his feelings about DWTS and Glee, and catches us up on the state of his synchronized swim team.  Plus, I’ll tell you which Hollywood actor has his movies boycotted more than any other because of his personal political beliefs.  Ready for more?  

I’ll also reveal a “secret” if you will - something I’ve been working on that I hope will make your holiday shopping a little easier…

And now, as the waiters and waitresses always say… Enjoy!

Purtan Podcast #12: 10/7/10    (24min. 47sec.)

“Oh yeah! On to Texas!”

“Is that a dozen hummingbirds in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

It's Do Or Die In NYC!

Go Tigers!  8:07pm. TBS.  

And just a reminder… Celebrity softball game noon Saturday at Clark Park on Clark Street (near the Ambassador Bridge) to kick off the 25th anniversary celebration of next February’s Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon on WJR!  No charge for admission — plus free hot dogs and drinks, face painting and a bounce house!  I’ll be pitching… They used to call me “No-Hit Dick”, only problem was, I was a third baseman at the time!  Hope to see you there!

RIP...

Steve Jobs, the man who co-founded Apple Computers and gave the world such innovative products as the iMac, iPhone, iPad, iTouch, iTunes and so much more passed away yesterday following a long battle with pancreatic cancer.  His creativity and passion literally changed the way the world operates. He was just 56.Wanna Bring Steve Jobs Back To Life? I Wish There Was An App For That…

Palin Bailin' On Run For Prez!

Yesterday, Sarah Palin dashed the hopes of some conservatives by announcing that she will not run for President in 2012.  Palin said her priorities are God, family and country, in that order, and she has to put her family first. (???) She says she believes that she’ll be more effective in stopping Obama’s “fundamental transformation” of America as an outsider and media commentator than if she ran for President. 

- Besides, Election Day falls right in the middle of moose hunting season. 

- This way, she’ll have more time to spend with her kids in Alaska, hanging out on the front porch looking at Russia. 

Almond Boneless Girlfriend!

China has a shortage of women, and men are under heavy presure both to work hard and to get get married. It’s especially tough during the Spring Festival, when sons are expected to bring their girlfriends home to meet their parents.  Thus the new industry: “Girlfriends for Hire”.  Young women are putting ads on the Internet offering to pose as a man’s girlfriend during the festival to get his parents off his back.  

- Why pay for a fake girlfriend?  Why not just ask one of your fake facebook friends to do it?  

- Finally the women won’t have to feel bad about faking anything, because they’re faking everything! 

One young man has also placed an ad offering $878 (US) to pretend to be his girlfriend for five days.  He’s received about 400 applications so far.  But he’s picky.  He says his fake girlfriend must have certain qualities including “a kind heart, high level of personal integrity, and good comunication skills.”

- And, of course, really big fake boobs.  

- Big Al had a fake girlfriend for 15 years on our radio show.  He met her at a Star Trek convention.

Price Of Free Coffee Goes Up!

Two former film students who worked as unpaid interns on the movie “Black Swan” have filed a federal lawsuit against the movie studio that they’re trying to turn into a class action suit.  The intern system is supposed to trade unpaid work for experience in the movie business.  The ex-interns claim “Black Swan” made over $300 million so they could have paid people to do the menial work. They claim they had to make coffee, get lunch, empty trash cans and clean the offices for free, and they learned nothing about the movie business. 

- In my 45 years in Detroit radio, I had hundreds and hundreds of unpaid interns.  If these guys win their lawsuit… I’m in big trouble!

- Monica Lewinsky is now claiming that she was forced to deliver pizza to the Oval Office for free and learned nothing about being President.   

Johnny Depp Admits He Stole Pirate Treasure!

Johnny Depp admitted that he was overpaid when he made $300 million for the “Pirates of the Carribean” movies, but says he has to secure his kids’ futures, so he didn’t turn it down.  His statement prompted a blog contributor to suggest that since liberal Hollywood stars are so opposed to overpaid corportate CEOs, maybe Hollywood should adopt a policy that no star is paid more than 10 times what the lowest paid-intern makes.

- If this goes through, when actors say, “I don’t do it for the money… I do it for my craft”, they’ll be talking about the “Kraft Macaroni & Cheese” they’ll be reduced to living on.    

- The only Hollywood stars I believe may actually need $300 million to “secure their kids futures” are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. 

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1927, “The Jazz Singer” starring Al Jolson debuted, ending the era of silent movies. 

- One critic said the movie left him “speechless”.  

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday for our brand-spankin’ new Podcast! 

-Dick 

And Go Tigers!!!!!!!

Tigers' Roar Muffled... Meanwhile I Take To The Mound!

So after the Tigers 10-1 loss to the Yankees, the series is tied at two a piece and that means Thurday is do or die night in New York. Hopefully the Tigers will get their game back!

Speaking of baseball, I’m pitching in a Celebrity Charity softball game this Saturday, October 8th at noon.  The game will kick-off the upcoming 25th Anniversary Radiothon Celebration for the Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club, that I founded and proudly hosted for 23 years. This year, I’ll be guest hosting the Radiothon on 760 WJR-AM on Friday, February 24th, 2012.  As for this Saturday’s game… it will be held at Clark Park at 1130 Clark Street, near the Ambassador Bridge.  They’ll be hot dogs, pop, facepainting and even a bounce house — and it’s ALL FREE! 

The weather’s supposed to be great, so grab a lawn chair and come join us! 

- Dick Verlander