Countin' Down!

It’s almost here!  The 24th Annual 16 Hour Radiothon benefiting the Salvation Army Bed and Bread feeding and sheltering program is this Friday, February 25th.  This year, it will air live from the Oakland Mall from 6am to 10pm on 760 AM - WJR, and will be hosted by their personalities. It’s a different station, but the same great cause!  

Three trucks go out on the streets every day, 365 days of the year no matter what the weather.  One of the trucks is named for Gene Taylor and Doc Andrews, and another truck for me and my wife Gail.  

I hope you’ll support this vital program - that feeds five thousand people a day and shelters nearly 600 people a night! You can even donate right now by calling 248-528-0760 or going to www.wjr.com. And remember, no matter how much you donate, not one penny is taken out for administrative costs!

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow! 

-Dick 

"The Gipper" Beats "Honest Abe"... Honest!

In honor of President’s Day yesterday, the Gallup pollsters released the results of a survey of Americans on who they consider to be the greatest President of all time.  Here’s the top 5…

#1- Ronald Reagan (19%)

#2- Abraham Lincoln (14%)

#3- Bill Clinton (13%)

#4- JFK (11%)

#5- George Washington (10%)

Coming in at #7 was Barack Obama with 5% of the vote and George W. Bush at #10 with 2%.

Here’s my abbreviated list:

#1 - Abraham Lincoln

#2 - George Washington

Who’s your number one?  Let me know here by hitting the comment button or post it on my Facebook page! 

"I Wanna Be Your Fake Friend!"

Fox News reports that the U.S. government is looking for software experts to create “fake people” on social network sites.  The job would allegedly require computer geeks to design “Persona Management Software” that would generate fictitious profiles that are so convincing, people will follow them on Twitter or accept them as Facebook Friends.  That would give the government access to you and your friend’s private information. As the fake persons become more and more popular, their influence could even be used to sway public opinion. 

- Go ahead!  Be one of the first of your friends to “like” this idea!

- They tried this last year but it tanked when they named the fake guy, “Charles Manson”.

- Doesn’t the government already have all of our private information?

- Bottom line:  Twitter everyone you know reminding them to Google any one who wants to “friend” them on Facebook! 

A Guest List Beyonce Your Wildest Dreams!

Prince William and Kate Middleton’s Royal Wedding guest list is out and it contains some surprises.  Sir Elton John and David and Victoria Beckham made the cut, but William’s Aunt, Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson is not invited.  Neither is President Obama.  His seat will be filled by Kate’s black sheep “Uncle Gary” who was once secretly taped smoking pot, arranging drug deals, and organizing call girls.  Also invited… Kanye West!!! 

- I can’t wait to see Kanye Jump up on the altar in the middle of the vows and say, “I’m really happy for you and I’m gonna let your finish… but Beyonce had one of the greatest weddings of all time!”

- They didn’t invite Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson because they would have had to triple the budget for hor d’eouvres. 

- Rumor has it Elton John will perform a special song for the couple… “Unity Candle in The Wind”.

- Queen Elizabeth threw a fit when she found out fellow Royal, Lady Gaga, wasn’t coming. 

- It doesn’t look like William will become King anytime soon… so it may be years before Kate sees his Royal Scepter. 

"Not Tonight Honey... I'm On A Diet!"

It’s official:  women would rather be thin than have sex.  Fitness magazine surveyed 2400 women to ask if they’d go without sex for a full year to be skinny, and 51% said yes.  Their choice of thinness over sex didn’t surprise psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, a body image specialist, who told CBS’s “Early Show” that in another study, 61% of women admitted they were thinking about how their bodies looked even while they were having sex. 

- As opposed to the men, who admitted to thinking about baseball during sex. 

- This is good news guys!  Since she wants to be skinny, she may not want you to take her to dinner first! 

- 39% of the women said they’d give up sex for three months to just be “pleasantly plump”.

- 100% of men said they wouldn’t give up sex for a year for anything! 

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1732, George Washington was born on his parents’ plantation in the Virginia Colony.  

- Ironically, he was one of the only kids in history whose father didn’t say, “My son is going to grow up to be President one day!” 

Another Reminder...

Radiothon Day is Friday!  Listen live from the Oakland Mall from 6am to 10pm - this year on 760 AM - hosted by the WJR personalities.  Remember every penny raised goes to the Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club feeding and sheltering program!    

It’s been an incredibly cold winter and there are a lot of people out there who are counting on your support! 

Thanks, have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow!

-Dick

Hail To The Chiefs!

Happy Presidents Day!  The day set aside to honor our past and present Commander’s in Chief.  We originally celebrated George Washington’s Birthday (February 22nd) but that was changed back in the 1970’s by none other than…

Richard Nixon!  He felt that we should honor ALL of our Presidents, not just the first one.  

- Especially President #37… Richard Nixon!

- Former President Bill Clinton will spend the day reminiscing about his two terms as “Commander-in-Briefs”

- I always mark the day by buying a new appliance at an incredible President’s Day Sale… and then spending some quality time thinking about William Howard Taft. 

"The Dog Ate My Protest Sign!"

Protests continued to rage over the weekend in Madison, Wisconsin, where teachers and other  publics workers are fighting a move by the Republican governor and legislature to roll back their collective bargaining rights and make them pay more toward their own pensions and health care.  The latest twist:  several doctors were caught on video handing out bogus “sick note” excuses to teachers who were skipping class to protest.

- Well guess who’s getting sent to the principal’s office now?

- The teachers should be careful… this kind of thing can end up on their permanent record! 

- People have a right to protest, but shooting spitballs at the governor is a little extreme. 

- One of the teachers is really in trouble… he got caught copying the slogan off another teacher’s protest sign. 

- Police thought the protestors were forming a human chain around the capitol building, but it turns out, it was recess time and the teachers were playing “Red Rover”. 

He's Only Had His Driver's License For 4 Years!

Trevor Bayne of Knoxville, Tennessee, rocketed to fame on Sunday when he won the Daytona 500 on his first appearance in the race.  He is by far the youngest driver ever to win the Daytona 500 - having just celebrated his 20th birthday on Saturday.  Bayne is so young, he doesn’t even own a suit to wear to any of the celebration festivities.  He said, “I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

- Not to take away from his victory, but what 20-year-old boy in a souped- up car doesn’t drive a million miles an hour? 

- His dad said, “Saying ‘yes’ when Trevor asked to borrow the keys to my car on Sunday was the best decision I ever made!”

- George Zimmer Jr. of the “Almost-A-Man’s Warehouse” gave Bayne a suit, adding “You’re gonna like the way you look.  My dad guarantees it”.  

Putin's Not The Only Clown Flying Around Russia...

The Russian budget airline Avianova was forced to reduce the number of seats in their planes from 180 to 159 by a change in Russian customs policy… but they’re not letting the extra space go to waste.  They’ve installed stages in the planes and plan to hire clowns, actors and musicians to entertain passengers during flights. 

- The mimes will be strapped to the wings so people can watch them fight the wind!

- The first class passengers will get real singers; In coach, they’ll just lip-sync. 

- I can hear the pilot now, “If you look out the right side of the plane, you’ll see Siberia.  If you look at the stage, you’ll see “The Amazing Vladimir” pull a Capitalist Pig out of his hat!”

- This sounds like the perfect gig for David Hasselhoff… If he ends up falling down during his act, people will just think it’s the turbulence. 

"My Friend Flicka... With Benefits!"

A Connecticut man accused of animal abuse for having a “romantic interlude” with a horse got the right lawyer. Even though the man was caught in the act, the accused’s lawyer, says his client denies “from the get go” that he abused the horse.  He went on to say, “If this was a guy and a sheep - and I’ve had a few of those cases - this would not have gotten nearly the media attention it has.”  But I guess because a horse is higher off the ground, it leaves a little more to the imagination.” 

- The technical name for “a guy and a sheep case”:  “Marty Had A Little Lamb”. 

- His client must think he’s a real stud.

- I guess he just wanted to “sew his wild oats” with someone who actually eats them.

- This whole thing is like the XXX-Rated version of “The Horse Whisperer”.  

- Their date went so well he’s thinking of Mare-y-ing her!!!

Today's Almanac

On this day in 1947, Edwin Land gave a public demonstration of his new invention: The Polaroid Camera.  

- Then he went home, sat back and waited to see what developed.   

And Remember...

The 24th Annual Salvation Army Radiothon is THIS Friday, February 25th from 6am to 10pm! Hear it live on WJR-AM 760 - and you can even donate now by calling 248-528-0760 or going to www.wjr.com. Every penny goes to the Bed and Bread feeding and sheltering program… there are no administrative fees taken out! 

Thanks for supporting a cause that means so much to me! 

Have a great day and I’ll see you right back here tomorrow! 

- Dick

A Bad News Week Behind Us... And A Good News Week Ahead

As Egyptians mark the one week anniversary of the resignaton of Hasni Mubarak with on-going celebrations in Tahrir Square, violent and deadly protests continue in Bahrain, Libya, Algeria and Iran. And while the protests that brought down Mubarek were largely peaceful, there was at least one unspeakable act of violence committed during the “celebration”.  I say “unspeakable” not just because of the horrific nature of the attack, but the fact that it was “not spoken about” by the media for five long days…    

I am talking of course about the brutal rape of CBS’s chief foreign correspondent Lara Logan.  

Five days.  That’s how long it took for the real story of what happened to make it’s way into our living rooms.  

As reporters from virtually all the cable and major network news organizations continued to report on the “joyous atmosphere” of the people who believed they had taken a major step towards democracy, NO ONE, not even her own employers at “60 Minutes” mentioned Logan’s ordeal:  That she had been surrounded by 200 Egyptian men, separated from her security detail & crew and brutally sexually assaulted for 20 to 30 minutes.  

Even her own network’s statement said Logan was “covering the jubilation” and was attacked “amidst the celebration”. 

Well that’s one party I wouldn’t want any woman I know - or don’t know for that matter - to attend. 

And the public “discussion” of Logan’s story has me shaking my head. There are those who say she, “should have pulled her hair back and dressed in fatigues” ( TRANSLATION:  She asked for it.) or “she had to know something like that might happen”, implying that a woman should know better than to choose an occupation that might put her in harm’s way.

Well guess what?  You don’t have to be reporting from the middle of a protest or celebration to be raped.  You can stay home wearing a dowdy fleece robe and slippers and be raped right there in your kitchen. A sexual assault occurs in this country every 2 minutes. It happens to girls younger than eight and women older than eighty.  AND IT IS NEVER, EVER their fault.  

Rape is a crime.  Crimes get reported on the news.  Sometimes!  

In the initial “non-coverage” and then eventual “full coverage” of the Logan case, here’s another rape story that went largely unreported.  This week in Bangladesh, a 14 year old girl named Hena was raped by a member of her family.  Having “shamed them by being sexually attacked” she was sentenced to 100 lashes for having “sex out of wedlock”.  After enduring 80 lashes, Hena died!  But the main reason the story was unreported? Because in many parts of the world, this kind of crazy thing happens all the time!  

*****

Those were two of the bad-news stories from this week; now for some good news about next week…

The 24th Annual 16-Hour Salvation Army Bed and Bread Club Radiothon is coming up one week from today, Friday, February 25th. It will be broadcast live from the Oakland Mall from 6am to 10pm - this year on WJR-AM 760.  

This is the first time in 24 years that I won’t be hosting the event because of my retirement from radio back in March, (this year the microphones will be manned by the WJR personalities), but I have been actively involved in the planning as a member of the Salvation Army Advisory Board.  

This is the ONLY fundraiser the Salvation Army has to feed and shelter 5,000 men, women, and children in our area, 365 days a year.

A donation of $120 feeds one person for an entire year; $240 feeds two people for an entire year, but whatever you can afford is welcome and appreciated!  And remember - no administrative costs are taken from your donation.

As you know, this cause is near and dear to my heart and your donations over the years have been remarkable to say the least.  Last year we raised a total of $2.3 million dollars… and while we never set a goal, we always hope for at least a penny more!  I hope that you will continue to support this most important program!

Have a great weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday…

- Dick

Pot, Meet Kettle!

Charlie Sheen’s call-ins to Dan Patrick’s radio show on ESPN continue. So far this week he’s announced that he’s cured, that doing crack socially is fine (if you can handle it), and that he finds sobriety boring.  And now… (drumroll please) he’s announced that he would like to be a counselor for… 

Lindsay Lohan because he “knows what she’s going through”.  He said he’d tell her, “Work on your impulse control, just try to think things through a little bit before you do it.”

- For instance, Charlie always counts to ten before asking for a porn star to bring him a briefcase full of cocaine. 

- Is it just me or would Charlie Sheen counseling Lindsay Lohan be about as successful as hiring a blind guy to be an Air Traffic Controller?

- Lindsay was so excited about the idea she went out and stole some jewelry to celebrate!

A Troubled Tiger

Tiger’s first baseman Miguel Cabrera is in trouble again.  He was arrested Wednesday night on charges of drunk driving and two counts of resisting an officer in St. Lucie County, Florida.  The arresting officer said Cabrera grabbed a bottle of scotch and began drinking after he was pulled over.  Cabrera reportedly used expletives and asked the officer, “Do you know who I am?” before being forced into the police car. He was released on $1300 bail.  

- Apparently Miguel thought he was in Florida for “Spring Break” not “Spring Training”. 

- The official sports term for this is, “The First Baseman is Loaded”. 

OMG IBM!

Wednesday night was the final round in the “Jeopardy!” Man v. Machine tournament. The winner:  Watson, the supercomputer created by IBM.  Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter came in second and third, taking home $300,000 and $200,000 respectively. Watson ended up with a cool million which IBM says it will donate entirely to charity. 

- While Jennings and Rutter celebrated with their families, Watson spent five hours on the phone with a guy in India.   

- I’m sure Watson will be doing the talk show circuit… Maybe he’ll be able to figure out what the girls on “The View” talking over each other, are actually talking about! 

- Next Up:  “Dancing With The Supercomputer”

Try The Pastry "Puffs"!

In an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan, Janet Jackson claimed that some female celebrities are so paranoid about their weight, they eat Kleenex tissue to stop their hunger pangs.  She said the pressure on today’s female stars to be thin is “crazy”, but added that she doesn’t eat Kleenex. 

- She eats toilet paper sandwiches instead.  On a roll. 

- When you think about it, eating toilet paper kind of kills two birds with one stone. 

- Janet’s brother Micheal didn’t eat Kleenex, he just used it to blow his nose… right across the room.  

This Just-in...

Rolling Stone is sparking controversy with an interview with 16-year-old ‘tween idol Justin Bieber in which they pressed him to give his opinions on pre-marital sex and the Canadian vs.  U.S. health care systems.  For the record, he believes in love before sex and joked that America is “evil” for making people go broke paying medical expenses.

- And a lot of parents think he’s evil for making them go broke buying their little girls tickets to his concerts and “I Love The Bieb!” t-shirts.  

- If you think he’s upset about health insurance now, wait ten years til he’s off his parents policy! 

- If he engages in pre-marital sex, he may end up with a “Baby!” (For the fellow un-hip, Jackie told me that that’s the name of one of his most popular songs!)