Plastic Surgeons say there’s “no doubt” that Joe Biden has had recent cosmetic procedures including Botox, hair transplants and dental veneers.

- So he’s now Officially a member of the “Two-Faced-Politician-Running-For-President” Club.

*****

A study by the AP found that Cow “Rear End Emissions” are contributing to Global Warming, BUT aren’t nearly as damaging as Cow Burps.

- This is Cow Shaming! The cows can’t do anything right no matter if they’re comin’ or goin’.

*****

Over the weekend, Hillary Clinton gave a “dramatic reading” of the Mueller report including the alleged Trump quote “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm f---ed.”

- Isn’t that the same thing she said when she woke up November 9, 2016?

*****

Arnold Schwarzenegger tweeted a pic of his son Joseph graduating from Pepperdine University over the weekend - the son he had with the maid while he was married to Maria Shriver.

- Joseph’s mother didn’t attend the ceremony… She had the weekend off.

*****

Chicago prosecutor Kim Foxx - who dismissed all 16 charges against Jussie Smolett has been subpoenaed to explain her handling of the case.

- Foxx said if charges are filed she’ll “Beat the Rap”. Jussie offered to hire a couple of guys he knows to do it for her.

*****

The new Superhero movie “The Avengers: Endgame” pulled in an unbelievable 1.2 BILLION dollars in it’s opening weekend.

- There hasn’t been an opening that big since Alec Baldwin went in for a root canal.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick