Chimpanzees used tree branches as a ladder to escape from a zoo in Ireland - the 2nd escape by Chimps in two weeks.

- When he heard the news the Zookeeper said, “Seriously? Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!”

*****

Martha Stewart posted pics of her newly organized bathroom on Instagram - including one that features a box labeled “Enema Kits”.

- Well, as Martha always says… being regular is “A Good Thing”.

*****

Farmers looking to breed their livestock can now use a new Dating App for cows called “Tudder”.

- This is great for cows who are tired of the whole “Meat Market” bar scene.

- “Tudder” is a great alternative for cows who haven’t had any luck on eHarMooNee.com.

*****

Two times as many people attended Prez Trumps rally in Texas last night than went to Dem. hopeful Beto O’Rorke’s event at the same time, leading Trump to say, “My rally is bigger than yours!”

- So apparently size DOES matter.

*****

Queen Elizabeth was spotted at a train station in England - about to hop a public train back to London.

- Proving once again that she may be a Royal, but she sits on the throne just like the rest of us.

*****

Democratic political insiders say that Joe Biden may be a weaker candidate than Hillary - but at 76 years old they believe he’s still the frontrunner for the Presidential Nomination.

- Wait a minute… isn’t this the same party that keeps complaining about “Old White Men” running everything??

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick