There’s a new term for “Single” that’s being used by some Celebs… “Self Partnering”.

- “Self Partnering” sounds like something that your mom said would make you go blind.

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Yahoo News ran an article this morning with the headline: “What Type of Casserole You Should Make Based on Your Astrological Sign”.

- Another glaring example of “BAKE NEWS!!!”

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“The Views” Joy Behar said if a Democrat wins the Presidency, they should take American’s guns “without warning”.

- So they KNOW YOU HAVE GUNS and show up at your house UNANNOUNCED to SEIZE them? Gee… WHAT COULD GO WRONG??

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The older sister of the now-dead terrorist Baghdadi has been captured and experts are hoping she’ll provide a “goldmine” of info on his activities.

- This wouldn’t be the first time in history that an older sister has ratted out her baby brother.

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For years scientists have believed our universe was as flat as a piece of paper, but new evidence has suggested it’s curved like a giant inflated balloon.

- In other words… The Universe got Implants.

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A designer in Shanghai has created a Million Dollar Gold Toilet that comes encrusted with more than 40,000 Diamonds and has a Bullet Proof Seat.

- Which would come in handy if someone shoots you from behind.

- The Lucky buyer will have Assets over a Million Dollars.

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick