A Mississippi man, who claimed he was abducted by an Alien back in 1973 says he "had no neck with gray wrinkled skin".

- This man was obviously abducted by Harvey Weinstein.

*****

Two sisters in Connecticut - who were both Lunch Ladies at local schools - are accused of stealing almost a half Million dollars in student lunch money. 

- A Half-Mil... or as the Lunch Ladies called it "A Whole Lotta Tater Tots". 

- They were caught up in the great "Hairnet Dragnet" sweep of School Cafeterias. 

*****

Experts claim the "Dutch Diet" - which allows dairy and even pastries along with vegetables & fish - may be the key to weight loss and longevity. 

- Dollars to Donuts say this ain't gonna work. 

*****

New research shows Google keeps track of where you are - down to the square foot - even when you're NOT using GoogleMaps. 

- So your friends may not know you're texting them from a toilet, but Google does. 

*****

A last second glitch delayed NASA's historic mission to visit the Sun on Saturday.

- Dontcha hate it when you're leaving on vacation to catch some Sun and your flight is delayed? 

*****

Kanye West announced that he'd be interested in "Hooking Up" with one of wife Kim Kardashian's sisters. 

- His mother-in-law Kris Jenner immediately responded, "Not so fast! Wait until I get the camera crew!"

***** 

Thoughts and Prayers go out to the great Aretha Franklin and her family as she receives Hospice care in her home. 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick