Rumor has it that OJ Simpson will move to Florida when he's paroled in October. 

- It seems like the perfect place for a guy who likes to go on slow-speed drives. 

*****

Starting today, Tiger fans will be able to use fingerprint technology to get into Comerica Park. 

- They were going to use it at the concession stands too, but the mustard and nacho cheese sauce kept gunking up the scanner. 

*****

President Trump was greeted with shouts of "We Love Trump!" by nearly 40,000 people at the National Boy Scout Jamboree in West Virginia last night. 

- He got even bigger cheers when he handed out Merit Badges reading "Make Weenie Roasts Great Again". 

*****

President Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner testified before a Congressional Committee yesterday and was asked repeatedly whether he had colluded with Russia during the election. 

- He responded, "Nyet! Nyet! A thousand times Nyet!"

*****

Top Dem. Chuck Schumer criticized former BFF Hillary Clinton for blaming others for her election loss and  unveiled a new slogan for the Democratic Party: "A Better Deal". 

- That replaces "A Bitter Deal" which is the slogan they've been using since November. 

*****

The Navy's newest Aircraft Carrier is ditching Urinals in favor of "Gender Neutral" traditional toilets to accommodate both male and female sailors. 

- So now before the male sailors let their "Anchors Aweigh"... they're gonna have to put the seat up first. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick