For his 71st Birthday yesterday, his wife Melania gave President Trump balloons and a gift. 

- She wanted to get him something that leaked less than his White House Staff so she got him a Spaghetti Strainer. 

*****

Former President Jimmy Carter personally greeted every single passenger on a recent flight from Atlanta to Washington. 

- He got the idea from Bill Clinton who personally greeted every single flight attendant. 

*****

In a video honoring a longtime female friend and donor, Hillary Clinton compared herself to "Wonder Woman". 

- But she left out the part where "Wonder Woman" manages to lose the Presidency after an epic battle with "The Joker". 

*****

An concert goer threw a bottle of water at Justin Beiber when he refused to sing the fan's favorite song. 

- Justin was furious. If you're gonna throw a beverage at him, he wants it to be a bottle of vodka. 

*****

Ireland has elected its first Gay Prime Minister. 

- He says his first official act will be to replace his Cabinet... with something more contemporary from IKEA. 

*****

A study by MIT found that 98% of college students would give away a friend's private email info in exchange for free pizza. 

- In their defense, the students said they'd only sell out their friends if the pizza had extra cheese and at least two toppings. 

*****

Samsung is set to release the all-new Galaxy8 model with new, innovative features. 

- Execs hope it will really catch fire with people bored with their iPhones. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick