United Airlines is facing a new PR disaster after a 3 foot rabbit named Simon, one of the world's biggest bunnies, died in the cargo hold during a flight from Heathrow to Chicago's O'Hare. 

- Yes... The Rabbit died on it's way to O "Hare". You can't make this stuff up. 

- So much for carrying a lucky rabbits foot when you travel. Simon had four and look what happened to him. 

*****

Kim Jong-Un's army fired rockets and torpedoes at mock enemy warships during North Korea's 'largest ever' live-fire artillery drills on Tuesday, but President Trump says KJU is not as strong as he thinks he is. 

- Trump was going to Tweet "Your Mother Wore Army Boots"... but it turns out she actually did. 

*****

Bill Cosby's lawyers announced that they'll go with a "False Memory" strategy, which experts say basically amounts to calling all 57 of his sexual assault accusers Liars. 

- Fascinating. They want jurors to believe the women have "False Memories" of not being able to remember anything after Bill drugged 'em. 

*****

Script writers in Hollywood are just days away from going on strike, and with no scripts the only thing we'd have to watch are Reality Shows. 

- No wait... those are scripted too. 

*****

A shocking new longterm study found that people who consume MORE salt than the Recommended Daily Allowance actually have LOWER blood pressure than most people who limit their salt intake. 

- Upon hearing the news, Jimmy Buffet went back to "Looking For His Lost Shaker of Salt". 

*****

Kim Kardashian lashed out at critics who claim all of her photos are air brushed - by posting photos of her un-filtered butt, complete with cellulite, in a skimpy bikini on Instagram. 

- Her skin was so dimpled, a lot of people thought she had posted side by side pics of the Moon.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick