Uber is set to begin using driverless cars. 

- Hmmm... a drunk guy in the backseat and no one behind the wheel. What could go wrong?

*****

Hillary Clinton says that when it comes to tax reform, "It's time for the wealthiest to pay". 

- Looks like somebody is going to have to up her speaking fees to help cover what she's gonna owe the IRS. 

*****

Meanwhile Hillary said she'd create 10 million new jobs if she wins the Presidency. 

- And 9 million of those jobs will be "Email Deleters". 

*****

New questions today about whether or not Olympic Swimmer Ryan Lochte and several others were actually robbed at gunpoint in Rio. 

- If it's not true... they're the ONLY people who haven't been robbed at gunpoint in Rio. 

*****

Meanwhile... new reports out this morning say that a drunken Lochte and his friends destroyed a gas station bathroom and were actually confronted by an employee with a gun who demanded they pay for the damages. 

- If video backs up the story...it looks like the gas station guy is going to take the Gold in this one. 

*****

A new study revealed that the number one excuse Men use to cover up an affair is to say they're playing golf. 

- Hey... it worked for Tiger Woods. 

- The news has left a lot of ladies Teed off. 

*****

A man in Ohio was arrested for allegedly trying to have a romantic interlude with the grill of his Van. 

- I guess he missed the part where you're supposed to have a romantic interlude in the BACK of your Van. 

- This gives new meaning to "Love...It's What Makes a Subaru a Subaru". 

*****

The newest trend in celebrity spas is to get wrapped in a giant burrito shell that is supposed to help you sweat out toxins. 

- It's Nacho typical spa treatment. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick