The Donald's wife Melania is taking heat for using several phrases in her speech at the RNC that were similar to ones that Michelle Obama used in her speech back in 2008 - part of which Michelle was accused of plagiarizing herself.   

- A woman noticed the similarities... all the men were too busy picturing Melania in a bikini. 

- Even Thomas Jefferson plagiarized. He stole the word "Liberty" from a Car Insurance Company. 

*****

Mercedes has unveiled a self-driving bus. 

- It's just like self-driving cars...but the crashes are bigger. 

*****

Fox is reportedly developing a TV series about the X-Men. 

- I thought Caitlyn Jenner already had a show called the Ex-Man. 

*****

72 year old Mick Jagger is about to become a father for the eighth time. 

- At least it's the eighth time that he knows of. 

- Mick already has 5 Grandchildren and 1 Great Grandchild and now another baby! His Ancestry.com page isn't a tree, it's more like a Roundabout during Rush Hour. 

- With all of those kids he spends most of his time yelling "Hey! Hey! You! You! Get Offa My Lawn!"

*****

The NFL plans to insert data chips into game balls to monitor how close field goals come to hitting the uprights.

- In a related story, next season, Tom Brady plans to insert the right amount of air into footballs. 

*****

An unidentified person close to Bill Cosby says that the America's former "Favorite Dad" is completely blind from a degenerative eye disease. 

- The worst part is he now has to fumble around trying to get the sedatives into his date's drink. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick