A California woman who was training for a Triathlon was attacked by a Great White Shark.
- Oops... That's not very Politically Correct of me... I meant, the woman was attacked by a Plus-Sized Caucasian Shark.
*****
Billy Joel dedicated a rendition of "The Entertainer" to Donald Trump during his concert in New York.
- He also dedicated "Honesty" to Hillary Clinton.
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Kim Jong Un says that he and Donald Trump see eye-to-eye.
- That's as long as Kim's wearing his heels.
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The family of the boy who fell into the Gorilla pen at the Cincinnati Zoo is asking people to send donations to the Zoo rather than to them.
- They don't need money...what they really need is a "child-leash".
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Donald Trump said Hillary Clinton not only "lies" but has "no natural talent" to be President of the United States.
- It should be noted that neither one one of them has the "natural hair color" to be President.
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American Airlines is being criticized for pulling several overweight passengers off a plane because the plane was too heavy to take off.
- It's expensive, but this is why I always check my emotional baggage at the gate.
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A JetBlue passenger in Seattle was asked to change after the crew decided that her shorts were too short.
- This is the kind of story I'd expect to hear from Virgin Airlines.
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The U.S. Border Patrol has formally endorsed Donald Trump for President.
- Trump called it "A giant wall of support".
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69 year old Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood and his 38 year old wife, Sally, welcomed twin baby girls this week.
- Sally said she's thrilled, but admits it's tough keeping three people in diapers.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick