Today only - until 10pm - Art Van is giving away a free Drone with every purchase of $1999.99.

- Plus, you get same day delivery of your furniture...if you use your drone to deliver it. 

- So don't freak out if you see a faux leather sectional hovering over your neighbors front yard. 

*****

The Washington Post published a story online that said Joe Biden was running for President, only to yank it down 10 minutes later. 

- For our senior readers, think of it as a sort of digital "Dewey Defeats Truman". 

*****

Jeb Bush told CNN that Donald Trump is still acting like the host of "Celebrity Apprentice". 

- If that were true, Trump would have fired all the "illegal immigrant" who are working on that show by now. 

- Don'tcha hate to see these two guys building up such a wall between them? 

*****

A National PSA is urging kids not to lose their virginity when they're drunk. 

- The slogan is: "You Never Want To Forget Your First Time". 

- So basically, they're saying to have sex first, THEN start doing the Jell-O shots. 

*****

Do you suffer from"Wealth Fatigue Syndrome? Some Psychiatrists are now offering the super-duper-uber rich therapy to help cope with their feelings about being ridiculously wealthy. 

- Sounds like a Cash Cow...or in this case, a Cash Couch.

- They say "Money Can't Buy Happiness"...but for 10 grand an hour you can buy a therapist to listen to you whine about how much money you've got. 

*****

Oscar Pistorius was released from prison after just 12 months and will serve the rest of his 5 year sentence at home.

- Just to be safe, his friends wanted to remove all the bathroom doors but the idea was shot down...by Oscar. 

*****

Bill Cosby fired his long time attorney Martin Singer for undisclosed reasons. 

- Mr. Singer said all he remembers is Cosby inviting him over for a drink, then waking up and finding out he was unemployed. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick